Funny Quotes
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We thought being offered the M.B.E. Member of the Order of the British Empire was as funny as everybody else thought it was. Why? What for? We didn't believe it. It was a part we didn't want. We all met and agreed it was daft.
John Lennon The Beatles
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I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get to the bathroom).
Dolly Parton
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And of course Marc Cherry heightens it and makes it hilarious. But there's so many universal themes in the show, and he made it so funny. We knew he was onto something if he could keep it up and, thankfully, he did.
James Denton
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There are precedents for what happens when societies allow the divide between rich and poor to get so huge that it stops being funny and starts becoming a sick, blood-boiling joke. If you had a Tardis, you could go back to 1917 and ask the Russian royal family how it was all going.
John Niven
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What's funny is funny. The same thing that made you laugh a hundred years ago makes you laugh now.
Chevy Chase
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The greatest teacher is just going out and playing.
George Benson
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How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.
Les Dawson
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My brother has ADD, which is weird because he drives a Ford Focus. I told my brother that joke but he didn't laugh because he got distracted by my shoe strings.
Zach Galifianakis
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Everything seems fine until you're about 40. Then something is definitely beginning to go wrong. And you look in the mirror with your old habit of thinking, 'While I accept that everyone grows old and dies, it's a funny thing, but I'm an exception to that rule.'
Martin Amis
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I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it's a way of laughing at it and getting a release.
Joaquin Phoenix
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It is funny you know, you spend 12 years of your life learning about things and about life, but they never really tell you how hard life really is.
Amanda Peterson
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It's funny; in fashion, you can never relax and feel like it's all sorted. Every season, you have to give yourself a challenge and come up with something new and fresh.
Jenny Packham
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I will say it is funny that writing a song about not wanting to entertain people is what got me a career in entertainment.
Lucy Dacus
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One of the reporters must have flunked journalism school because he asked a question that went straight to the point.
P. J. O'Rourke
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If my mother hadn't laughed at the funny things I did, I probably wouldn't be a comic actor. After she had her first heart attack, the doctor said, 'Try to make her laugh.' And that was the first time I tried to make anyone laugh.
Gene Wilder
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I always find it funny when I watch actors talking about, 'I chose to do this part.' A lot of times it's 'you're lucky to get the job.' We're like, 'Thank you so much.'
Lucy Punch
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I'm an off-road racecar driver. And I think every woman in my life has told me that's not a sensible hobby. But when I was growing, even more than I wanted to be funny, I wanted to be a racecar driver. That's all I thought about. I worked for a race team when I was 15 and I traveled with them.
Dax Shepard
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As soon as I arrive at the house, Laurie starts running, hits my chest, knocks me down, and licks my face. It's become a family ritual.
Beverly Sills
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What's going to be funny is when they think Mom and Dad are a little bit cool, because right now, we're not cool Mom and Dad.
Angelina Jolie
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He had on a funny T-shirt, as usual. Today's featured acartoon figure running from a giant T. rex, and it read EXERCISE: SOME MOTIVATIONREQUIRED.
Rachel Caine
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Staring down the barrel of a gun is the scariest thing you could ever experience. It's not funny. It's not for the movies.
Christine Flores
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Everybody wants to be Doug Stanhope; everybody wants to be Bill Hicks - and those are great people to aim for, but they had the fundamentals down. They knew how to be funny.
Chris Cubas
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Journalists aren't supposed to praise things. It's a violation of work rules almost as serious as buying drinks with our own money or absolving the CIA of something.
P. J. O'Rourke
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With kids, I have less time for things like masks - though I do try to treat myself, after they've gone to bed, to a mask or something. It's kind of funny because, as you get older, you probably need to do more in terms of beauty, but actually, you have less time to do it. But becoming a mother has made me a stronger person.
Doutzen Kroes