Funny Quotes
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I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not.
Jeff Garlin
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He would say, "How funny it will all seem, all you've gone through, when I'm not here anymore, when you no longer feel my arms around your shoulders, nor my heart beneath you, nor this mouth on your eyes, because I will have to go away some day, far away..." And in that instant I could feel myself with him gone, dizzy with fear, sinking down into the most horrible blackness: into death.
Arthur Rimbaud
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You figure they cheat at the ballpark, they'll cheat on the golf course, they'll cheat in business, and anything else in life. Players may laugh about it and say it's funny, but right down in their heart, they don't think it's funny at all, and they have no respect for a person who cheats.
Bob Feller
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I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.
Billy Crystal
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You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people.
Donald Trump
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Hey,” Shane said from the other side of the bars. “Trade you cigarettes for a chocolate bar.” Funny,” Eve said. She was almost back to her old unGothed self again, though there were still red splotches on her cheeks and around her eyes. “How come you’re always behind bars, troublemaker?” Look who’s talking. I didn’t try to outrun the cops in a hearse.” That hearse had horsepower.” Eve got that moony look in her eyes again. “I love that hearse.
Rachel Caine
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'Danger Girl' can be ridiculous, but sometimes it's funny.
Megan Fox
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I don't think you can teach people how to be funny. You can make suggestions about how to speak a line or get a laugh, but it has to be in them.
George Cukor
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The funny thing is, I was never purposely blonde. I just got highlights, and then you get highlights over highlights, and then it looks like you're blonde.
Cheri Oteri
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It's funny, because people always say when they meet me, having read me - or they read me, having met me - that they are struck by how the tone is pretty similar, in real life and in the books.
Geoff Dyer
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Funny... I still can't believe in God." "Does that matter now?"..."He believes in you.
A.J. Cronin
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I was taking my dog out the other day and I met this chap who asked me where I was going. The dog is foaming at the mouth, so I explained that I was on my way to the vet to have it put down. He asked if it was mad, to which I replied that it wasn't exactly pleased about it.
Chic Murray
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I watch a lot of TV, I drink a lot of coffee, but you know what's really addictive? Heroin.
Jim Gaffigan
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It is funny to me that because I can run, because I'm athletic, people tend to see that as my only asset.
Colin Kaepernick
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It's funny: in the middle of making 'The Muse,' I was offered, at the time, the first 'Ice Age,' the part that Ray Romano took: I was offered the elephant. And I couldn't even stop to breathe, so I didn't do it. They've made, like, six of them. And in the animation business, for a voice actor, that's what you want. You want six, you know?
Albert Brooks
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I am really terrible when it comes to guys. Inside, I just see myself as this overweight tomboy with funny-coloured hair and bad skin.
Katie McGrath
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Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons' subversive story telling, but there's another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories.
Matt Groening
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Everything's funny for God's sake. Everything.
Gloria Estefan
Miami Sound Machine
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The sky was so clear that the starlight cast shadows, and so many sparkles and glitters and glints appeared above us that it looked like something really expensive had been dropped and shattered in heaven - God's Steuben ashtray, maybe.
P. J. O'Rourke
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I feel like, if there's an elephant in the room, I'd really like to start off by introducing the elephant in the room. And sometimes it's funny.
Louis Theroux
