Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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The Midwest breeds funny, eccentric people, to varying degrees. You play shows not because you're expecting to get a record deal, but to do something fun outside of mowing lawns. Everything else is just gravy... Or mustard.
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
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It's only I have seen enough of it and the funny thing is now, I know that I'm skinny, because I know there are even smaller clothes in the store. I think I'm big, when I was big, I never thought about it.
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But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.
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What's funny in 'The Mayor of MacDougal Street' is how Dave Van Ronk talks a lot about the time and how exciting it was and how electric it was.
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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The less lines, the better. I am the silent film actor, but not in a slapstick sort of way. Film is an image-based medium, so whatever you can say without the words is far more provocative and punctuating. If the lines are not funny or if they don't advance the story, sometimes it's hard. I hate talk in movies.
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Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.
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Flirting is funny. And it's awkward and weird.
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Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
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The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!
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It's funny, we all really, really got along. I don't know how it was in years past but this year, I was really with a good group of people. No one tried to sabotage each other or steal the other ones moments.
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I definitely at times notice a difference in service when I go out. You know, I can walk in to grab a cup of coffee or walk in to have lunch or dinner, and people definitely seem on their best behavior, which is funny, or I start to see people clean up around me, which I always find really, really amusing.
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My wife's a loving, funny, Irish-spirited person, and I'm still surprised at some of the things she says. She makes me laugh every day.
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Turn up the lights. I don't want to go home in the dark.
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If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
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It's funny because I grew up with the T.V. on 24 hours a day. And the more money I made, the more T.V.s we had.
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Remember, if you want to love your life and live it to the fullest, don't let the sun go down on your anger. If you don't have a solution to the issue, agree to disagree and focus on the importance of the relationship.
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I am re-collecting the baseball cards my mom had thrown out when I went away to school. You know you are an adult when you can buy a whole set of baseball cards instead of two packs at a time.
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Our ancestors are totally essential to our every waking moment, although most of us don't even have the faintest idea about their lives, their trials, their hardships or challenges.
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My mother had just died, and I had to walk a long way behind her coffin, surrounded by thousands of people watching me while millions more did on television. I don't think any child should be asked to do that under any circumstances.
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I just want to be known as funny.
