Larry David Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I get tired of comedies where there are a bunch of funny guys and a beautiful woman who doesn't do anything funny. And I don't like books where there's a rough-and-tumble boy and a really clever, snotty girl. That's just not my experience with teenagers.
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Jews are not part of a European ruling class imposed on helpless natives, but are caught up in a tragedy in which two peoples are struggling for the same piece of land.
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
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I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
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It's only I have seen enough of it and the funny thing is now, I know that I'm skinny, because I know there are even smaller clothes in the store. I think I'm big, when I was big, I never thought about it.
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Moses freed the Jews. Lincoln freed the slaves. I freed the neurotics.
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A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
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What's funny in 'The Mayor of MacDougal Street' is how Dave Van Ronk talks a lot about the time and how exciting it was and how electric it was.
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My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas.' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau.' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special.
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The less I talk about being black, the better.
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I've learned not to hide behind a veil of irony - to talk about my work in a more honest way.
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Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.
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When I first stepped into literature twenty-five years ago, I wanted to work on behalf of the oppressed, the working masses, and it seemed to me, mistakenly, that I would not find them among the Jews.
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The Jews have never been ashamed of being Jews, whereas homosexuals have been stupid enough to be ashamed of their homosexuality.
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I like children - fried.
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I can talk a lot and not reveal anything; I would make a great politician.
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The Simpsons are ugly-looking, and they should be. That's what works. That's one of the things that's funny.
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One shouldn't gamble with what is irreplaceable and precious.
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My mom is a great entertainer.
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Working with Justin Bieber, I learned that he can literally do any genre - he's a chameleon. His voice is so flexible that he's not locked in to one genre, and it just shows the world that he can really sing anything.
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The offensive line was getting a real good push, ... I feel if I can see a little hole, I can get to it, and that was happening today.
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There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.
