Humor Quotes
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I don't know about Willie Davis. He's not as young as he used to be.
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True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart. It is not contempt; its essence is love. It issues not in laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper.
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Life is a little easier for attractive people. Think about it: if a stranger smiles at you and they’re attractive, you think, ‘Oh, they’re nice,’ but if a stranger’s ugly, you’re like, ‘What do they want? Get away from me, weirdo.
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Humor is such a strong weapon, such a strong answer.
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musicians rarely have a sense of humour, at least, about themselves.
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Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic genius.
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I really wouldn't want to live in America. I found New York claustrophobic and dirty. I missed England when I was there, simple things like smells and the British sense of humor.
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I went into a butchers and I said, 'I'll have a pound of sausages. 'He said, 'I'm very sorry, sir, we only serve kilos in here. 'I said, 'Okay then I'll have a pound of kilos.'
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Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.
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Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.
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Eric Show will be 0 for 10 if that pop fly ever comes down.
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The Padres, after winning the first game of the doubleheader, are ahead here in the top of the fifth and hoping for a split.
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Humor is an amazing way to talk people down off a ledge.
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You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."
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If you want a lot of visual humor, the way to do it is have visual people do it.
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She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."
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In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
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I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?"
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You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? They're always so condescending. 'Ah, the book was much better than the movie.' Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading.
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When I was younger, when I was a teenager, the work was more satirical and funny and cartoony. And part of it was chops - if you have a more limited repertoire of stick figures and cartoon characters, they lend themselves more to humor than to tragedy.
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I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday... unless there's a game on.
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Sometimes you want to have a talk about race, about police violence. It's very hard to get through to somebody. Everyone's got their side staked out. They don't want to talk about it. But you can break the ice with a little humor.
