Humor Quotes
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You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? They're always so condescending. 'Ah, the book was much better than the movie.' Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading.
Jim Gaffigan
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Never accept a drink from a urologist.
Erma Bombeck
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People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!
Sarah Silverman
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“Sometimes I do readings and people can’t stop laughing, but I’m reading about pretty tragic things. I think Soviet humor is a desperate humor, rather typical of very different nations, of Jewish people, Ukrainians, and of course, Russians. It’s despair – just keep laughing, until you are dead.”
Alina Bronsky
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I like people with a good sense of humor, like Jennifer Aniston. She is amazing and is a great actress.
Helio Castroneves
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People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.
Erma Bombeck
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Humor implies a sure conception of the beautiful, the majestic and he true, by whose light it surveys and shape s their opposites. It is a humane influence, softening with mirth the ragged inequities of existence, prompting tolerant views of life, bridging over the space which separates the lofty from the lowly, the great from the humble.
Edwin Percy Whipple
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Zane Smith is a guy who can shut you out as well as look at you.
Jerry Coleman
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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
Scott Adams
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It was a pretty posh place. They were so used to fur coats that two bears strolled in and ordered lunch and nobody even noticed.
Chic Murray
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I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'
Tommy Cooper
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Wit and humor belong to genius alone.
Miguel de Cervantes
