Humor Quotes
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Wit and humor do not reside in slow minds.
Miguel de Cervantes
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I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?"
Jim Gaffigan
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When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home.
Erma Bombeck
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Once anyone who has a sense of humor can do what they want, they want to do funny bits as much as possible.
Gavin McInnes
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True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart. It is not contempt; its essence is love. It issues not in laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper.
Thomas Carlyle
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Nothing seems too high or low for the humorist; he is above honor, above faith, preserving sense in religion and sanity in life.
Sean O'Casey
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Humor implies a sure conception of the beautiful, the majestic and he true, by whose light it surveys and shape s their opposites. It is a humane influence, softening with mirth the ragged inequities of existence, prompting tolerant views of life, bridging over the space which separates the lofty from the lowly, the great from the humble.
Edwin Percy Whipple
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Parker's grand slam is the same as going 4 for 4, even though he went 1 for 4.
Jerry Coleman
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The subtle differences in language and humor that get lost in translation, for example, make it almost impossible for big companies to do something that will appeal at home and abroad.
Larry Gelbart
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Larry Lintz steals second standing up. He slid, but he didn't have to.
Jerry Coleman
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He can be lethal death.
Jerry Coleman
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It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.
Jerry Coleman
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In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
Simon Callow
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He many not be hurt as much as he really is.
Jerry Coleman
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Humor is so culturally based that when I try to tell a joke as me being a white American, if I tell other white Americans, they'll laugh. If I tell an African American, they might not laugh. In fact, they either might not find it funny, or they might find it offensive, and I didn't mean it to be offensive. So these are the sort of little things that build up over time, just like in a marriage. You know, the little things can build up over time.
Michael Emerson
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At the end, excitement maintained its hysteria.
Jerry Coleman
