Humor Quotes
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I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'
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You walk into the locker room, and you see players with their ripping muscles and stomachs you could wash your clothes in.
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I got up this morning. I like to get up in the morning; it gives me the rest of the day to myself. I crossed the landing and went down stairs. Mind you, if there had been no stairs, I wouldn't even have attempted it.
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Humor is a social lubricant that helps us get over some of the bad spots.
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She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.
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It was a pretty posh place. They were so used to fur coats that two bears strolled in and ordered lunch and nobody even noticed.
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I've known Don Mancini for 22 years. We're dear friends. I know his humor, I know his mind.
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Music played a large role in the survival of the black people in America — that and a sense of humor that just couldn't be enslaved.
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People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben."
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I like people with a good sense of humor, like Jennifer Aniston. She is amazing and is a great actress.
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Sarcasim is the lowest form of humor.
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It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.
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You may not like the humor, but that is why every radio has an on-off button.
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It's a cold night out tonight. The Padres better warm up real good because it's stiff out there.
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Ultimately, we as a band just write what we write. Some of it's very serious, and even in the serious songs, there's sometimes an angle of levity. I think that's just how we communicate naturally and to shy away from that would be, first of all, boring for me, but also it wouldn't ring true to who I am or the way I relate to people or the way we relate to people as a band or the way we relate to the audience. Humor is a big part of it, but we also take our craft very seriously.
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I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.
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A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
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In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
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I met this cowboy with a brown paper hat, paper waistcoat and paper trousers. He was wanted for rustling.
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."
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Wit and humor belong to genius alone.
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I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure
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Imagination offers people consolation for what they cannot be, and humor for what they actually are.
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Every Brit I met had the best sense of humor. They're hilarious: very dry and witty.
