Humor Quotes
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Nothing seems too high or low for the humorist; he is above honor, above faith, preserving sense in religion and sanity in life.
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I am not at all in a humour for writing; I must write on till I am.
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The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside.
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The Phillies beat the Cubs today in a doubleheader. That puts another keg in the Cubs' coffin.
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You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."
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He can be lethal death.
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A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.
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Who thinks the law has anything to do with justice? It's what we have because we can't have justice.
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I can only do what I do with a spirit of humor, and faith and give the controls over to something else.
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I don't know about Willie Davis. He's not as young as he used to be.
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People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben."
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From Lucifer to Jerry Sneak there is not an aspect of evil, imperfection, and littleness which can elude the lights of humor or the lightning of wit.
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Larry Lintz steals second standing up. He slid, but he didn't have to.
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The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
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When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait until I reached 50 to start again.
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When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home.
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Our historical bequest is sublime. I have inherited a fragmented but highly creative exile and, since 1948, a home. I don't know that I want to settle there. I prefer the creative spur of exile. () But wherever I am I shall be Jewish, and that sound will inform every syllable I write. I am blessed with a long ancestry of wisdom, prophecy, and promise, a line of overwhelming creative achievements, courage, humor, and, above all, a dogged and chronic permanence, the greatest legacy of all.
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I want to be taken seriously as the type of musician that plays stuff like an electric rake. I mean, how seriously do you take someone like Spike Jones? They take him pretty seriously - a really good musician who made a great contribution in terms of humor, which is part of what I try to do too.
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I thought the line 'I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska' was very funny. I think the word is 'sarcasm.' In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life.
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You ever get a postcard, you get so excited you don't even read it! "Hey I got a - who cares."
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.
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Reggie Smith of the Dodgers and Gary Matthews of the homers hit Braves in that game.
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It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"
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Whenever you get an inflamed tendon, you've got a problem. OK, here's the next pitch to Gene Tendon.