Humor Quotes
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Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.
Jerry Coleman
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Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.
Bill Bailey
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When the Constitution declares that 'all men are created equal,' it is not referring to intelligence, good looks, good humor, height, weight, or income. It is talking about certain rights, 'inalienable', in that they cannot be taken away.
Elisabeth Elliot
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.
Steve Martin
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Good-humor is the clear blue sky of the soul.
Arthur Frederick Saunders
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A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
Henry Ward Beecher
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During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else.
Richard Lewis
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So she ignored Mrs. Arbuthnot's remark and raised forefinger, and said with marked coldness—at least, she tried to make it sound marked— that she supposed they would be going to breakfast, and that she had had hers; but it was her fate that however coldly she sent forth her words they came out sounding quite warm and agreeable. That was because she had a sympathetic and delightful voice, due entirely to some special formation of her throat and the roof of her mouth, and having nothing whatever to do with what she was feeling. Nobody in consequence ever believed they were being snubbed. It was most tiresome. And if she stared icily it did not look icy at all, because her eyes, lovely to begin with, had the added loveliness of very long, soft, dark eyelashes. No icy stare could come out of eyes like that; it got caught and lost in the soft eyelashes, and the persons stared at merely thought they were being regarded with a flattering and exquisite attentiveness. And if ever she was out of humour or definitely cross— and who would not be sometimes in such a world?—-she only looked so pathetic that people all rushed to comfort her, if possible by means of kissing. It was more than tiresome, it was maddening. Nature was determined that she should look and sound angelic. She could never be disagreeable or rude without being completely misunderstood.
Elizabeth von Arnim
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Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.
Jerry Coleman
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I challenge anyone, even with a radar machine, to hit that slider.
Jerry Coleman