Humor Quotes
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'
Tommy Cooper -
The last time Pena faced the Padres, the Dodgers scratched for a run to tie the game and then went on to win 4-0.
Jerry Coleman
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Oh Lord, give us a sense of humor with courage to manifest it forth, so that we may laugh to shame the pomps, the vanities, the sense of self-importance of the Big Fellows that the world sometimes sends among us, and who try to take our peace away.
Sean O'Casey -
My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.
Chic Murray -
Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.
Stephen King -
Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.
Jerry Coleman -
I thought the line 'I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska' was very funny. I think the word is 'sarcasm.' In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life.
Andrea Fay Friedman -
A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.
Morey Amsterdam
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Erma Bombeck -
Denzel Washington has a great sense of humor. He did all those 'Nutty Professor' movies.
Seth MacFarlane -
Everybody blames the Jews for killing Christ, and the Jews try to pass it off on the Romans. I'm one of the few people who believes it was the blacks.
Sarah Silverman -
Humor is intrinsitc to Christianity.
Soren Kierkegaard -
It is easy to forget that the most important aspect of comedy, after all, its great saving grace, is its ambiguity. You can simultaneously laugh at a situation, and take it seriously.
Stephen Fry -
They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe.
Jerry Coleman
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Even people that I agree with can do something that would be a target for a bit of humor.
Jonathan Shapiro -
I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian.
Steve Martin -
I like people with a good sense of humor, like Jennifer Aniston. She is amazing and is a great actress.
Helio Castroneves -
Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is.
Jerry Coleman -
The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to two pimples and a boil.
Chic Murray -
I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... an Arctic region covered with ice.
Steve Martin
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You know, I'm Australian, and we have got the worst sense of humor. We are cruel to each other.
Steve Irwin -
Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.
Jerry Coleman -
Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting.
Jerry Coleman -
Mirth is a Proteus, changing its shape and manner with the thousand diversities of individual character, from the most superfluous gayety to the deepest, moat earnest humor.
Edwin Percy Whipple