Humor Quotes
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I don't know about Willie Davis. He's not as young as he used to be.
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Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.
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Putting a little time aside for clean fun and good humor is very necessary to relieve the tensions of our time.
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When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home.
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People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!
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This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, "There's my wife... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man."
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I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling... the rest I spend foolishly.
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Who thinks the law has anything to do with justice? It's what we have because we can't have justice.
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Inconceivable!" "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
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I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.
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I often use humor as a tool in my writing, and sometimes that works and sometimes it sits alone just as a funny line.
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And it's a long drive down the line to centerfield.
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It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"
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I thought the line 'I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska' was very funny. I think the word is 'sarcasm.' In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life.
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When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.
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I want to be taken seriously as the type of musician that plays stuff like an electric rake. I mean, how seriously do you take someone like Spike Jones? They take him pretty seriously - a really good musician who made a great contribution in terms of humor, which is part of what I try to do too.
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Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.
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The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly, is to fill the world with fools.
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Wouldn't it have been weird to go to high school with the Pope? You know, somebody did, someone's sitting at home, watching TV in Poland, they see the Pope, they think, "That guy was a jerk! He was so mean to me and now he's Pope? I got a swirly from the Pope!"
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Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.
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I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal: high enough so you can look up her dress.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
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I'm convinced that it's energy and humor. The two of them combined equal charm.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
