Humor Quotes
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Sometimes you want to have a talk about race, about police violence. It's very hard to get through to somebody. Everyone's got their side staked out. They don't want to talk about it. But you can break the ice with a little humor.
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Tonight's show is about doubt. Or maybe it isn't - haven't made my mind up yet.
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A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.
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Humor, warm and all-embracing as the sunshine, bathes its objects in a genial and abiding light.
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My advice to defensive players: Take the shortest route to the ball and arrive in a bad humor.
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A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
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Mirth is a Proteus, changing its shape and manner with the thousand diversities of individual character, from the most superfluous gayety to the deepest, moat earnest humor.
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He many not be hurt as much as he really is.
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So she ignored Mrs. Arbuthnot's remark and raised forefinger, and said with marked coldness—at least, she tried to make it sound marked— that she supposed they would be going to breakfast, and that she had had hers; but it was her fate that however coldly she sent forth her words they came out sounding quite warm and agreeable. That was because she had a sympathetic and delightful voice, due entirely to some special formation of her throat and the roof of her mouth, and having nothing whatever to do with what she was feeling. Nobody in consequence ever believed they were being snubbed. It was most tiresome. And if she stared icily it did not look icy at all, because her eyes, lovely to begin with, had the added loveliness of very long, soft, dark eyelashes. No icy stare could come out of eyes like that; it got caught and lost in the soft eyelashes, and the persons stared at merely thought they were being regarded with a flattering and exquisite attentiveness. And if ever she was out of humour or definitely cross— and who would not be sometimes in such a world?—-she only looked so pathetic that people all rushed to comfort her, if possible by means of kissing. It was more than tiresome, it was maddening. Nature was determined that she should look and sound angelic. She could never be disagreeable or rude without being completely misunderstood.
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My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. He sold it to me on his deathbed. I wrote him a cheque for it, post dated of course.
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I've known Don Mancini for 22 years. We're dear friends. I know his humor, I know his mind.
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Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.
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I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday... unless there's a game on.
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They've taken the foot off Johnny Grubb. Uh, they've taken the shoe off Johnny Grubb.
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She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me, and I am in no humor at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men.
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Someone once defined humor as a way to keep from killing yourself. I keep my sense of humor and I stay alive.
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Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.
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In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."
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Denzel Washington has a great sense of humor. He did all those 'Nutty Professor' movies.
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If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain.
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I'm convinced that it's energy and humor. The two of them combined equal charm.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.
