Humor Quotes
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I challenge anyone, even with a radar machine, to hit that slider.
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In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?
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I'm convinced that it's energy and humor. The two of them combined equal charm.
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Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.
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I do have a dirty sense of humor.
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Parker's grand slam is the same as going 4 for 4, even though he went 1 for 4.
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."
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McCovey swings and misses, and it's fouled back.
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Someone once defined humor as a way to keep from killing yourself. I keep my sense of humor and I stay alive.
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I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it flew down a hill around a bend and crashed through a brick wall. I wasn't hurt but luckily my father had the presence of mind to kick my head in.
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A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.
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I was out walking the other evening. This fellow accosted me, and asked if that was the moon up there in the sky. I replied that I had no idea, as I was a stranger there myself.
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Denzel Washington has a great sense of humor. He did all those 'Nutty Professor' movies.
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It is easy to forget that the most important aspect of comedy, after all, its great saving grace, is its ambiguity. You can simultaneously laugh at a situation, and take it seriously.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
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We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks. We're real sarcastic. Really ironic and stuff. We mean well, but we joke around probably a lot more than we should.
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Humor is a great way to relieve stress.
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Larry Lintz steals second standing up. He slid, but he didn't have to.
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Good humor is the sunshine of the mind.
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So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "Break my arms."
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If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain.
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I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday... unless there's a game on.
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George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up.
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Humor, warm and all-embracing as the sunshine, bathes its objects in a genial and abiding light.
