Humor Quotes
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My wife, my daughters, even my grandchildren are funny. You've got to keep a sense of humor because anger destroys you.
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When the Constitution declares that 'all men are created equal,' it is not referring to intelligence, good looks, good humor, height, weight, or income. It is talking about certain rights, 'inalienable', in that they cannot be taken away.
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Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.
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A sense of humor is so handy, isn't it? It lets you see both sides of a question so that you never need do anything.
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Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
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That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.
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I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling... the rest I spend foolishly.
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The last time Pena faced the Padres, the Dodgers scratched for a run to tie the game and then went on to win 4-0.
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I want to help people, give hope to all. Humor is the foundation of our lives.
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Sometimes I make myself laugh, but that's because I appreciate my sense of humor.
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Laughter keeps you healthy. You can survive by seeing the humor in everything. Thumb your nose at sadness; turn the tables on tragedy. You can’t laugh and be angry, you can’t laugh and feel sad, you can’t laugh and feel envious.
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When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home.
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An uncontrolled sense of humor is often costly in business.
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So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."
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From Lucifer to Jerry Sneak there is not an aspect of evil, imperfection, and littleness which can elude the lights of humor or the lightning of wit.
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I have a really dry sense of humor. I don't think it's funny when people wink at the camera. That's more of an actor thing, just committing to whatever the thing is.
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I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.
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Whenever you get an inflamed tendon, you've got a problem. OK, here's the next pitch to Gene Tendon.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It's just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.
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Humor is a key to a happy life with ADD.
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My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.
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Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
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Humor is the most important thing in life. It trumps everything else, and it's the only thing that helps me deal with everything else.
