Humor Quotes
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Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.
Jerry Coleman -
I sure hope you're staying alive for the upcoming Dodgers series.
Jerry Coleman
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That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres - two doubles and a triple.
Jerry Coleman -
The Padres are really swinging some hot hats tonight!
Jerry Coleman -
I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday... unless there's a game on.
Steve Martin -
Humor is the most important thing in life. It trumps everything else, and it's the only thing that helps me deal with everything else.
Paul Rudd -
I grew up with SpongeBob - it came out in 1999, right before I turned 7. So it's been a part of my life and all my friends' lives and defined our humor, in a way.
Ethan Slater -
Humor, warm and all-embracing as the sunshine, bathes its objects in a genial and abiding light.
Edwin Percy Whipple
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All the Padres need is a fly ball in the air.
Jerry Coleman -
One does not laugh because one is happy; one is happy because one laughs.
Mireille Guiliano -
I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."
Tommy Cooper -
I met this cowboy with a brown paper hat, paper waistcoat and paper trousers. He was wanted for rustling.
Chic Murray -
If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?
Casey Affleck -
My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.
Chic Murray
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I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it flew down a hill around a bend and crashed through a brick wall. I wasn't hurt but luckily my father had the presence of mind to kick my head in.
Chic Murray -
A sense of humor has been linked with longevity. It is a possibility that the mental attitude reflected in a lively sense of humor is an important factor predisposing some people toward long life.
Raymond Moody -
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
Erma Bombeck -
And it's a long drive down the line to centerfield.
Jerry Coleman -
Sometimes I make myself laugh, but that's because I appreciate my sense of humor.
Regina Hall -
In a girl I look for honesty above all, someone who I can carry on a conversation with, someone who has a good sense of humor, someone who's true to herself, and to top it, someone who can get ready for a date in less than ten minutes.
Erik von Detten
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Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.
Erma Bombeck -
You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.
Jerry Coleman -
Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.
Marshall Bruce Mathers III Bad Meets Evil' -
My sense of humor has saved me more than a couple of times in my life.
John Prine