Humor Quotes
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Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
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There's a new slimming course just out where they remove all your bones. Not only do you weigh less, but you also look so much more relaxed.
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Hrabosky looks fierce in that Fu Manchu haircut.
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I want to help people, give hope to all. Humor is the foundation of our lives.
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Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.
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That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.
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I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... an Arctic region covered with ice.
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When the Constitution declares that 'all men are created equal,' it is not referring to intelligence, good looks, good humor, height, weight, or income. It is talking about certain rights, 'inalienable', in that they cannot be taken away.
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The last time Pena faced the Padres, the Dodgers scratched for a run to tie the game and then went on to win 4-0.
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Laughter keeps you healthy. You can survive by seeing the humor in everything. Thumb your nose at sadness; turn the tables on tragedy. You can’t laugh and be angry, you can’t laugh and feel sad, you can’t laugh and feel envious.
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Irony is the birth-pangs of the objective mind (based upon the misrelationship, discovered by the I , between existence and the idea of existence). Humor is the birth -pangs of the absolute mind (based upon the misrelationship, discovered by the I , between the I and the idea of the I.
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So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."
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Kippers : fish that like a lot of sleep.
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You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.
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I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling... the rest I spend foolishly.
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My wife, my daughters, even my grandchildren are funny. You've got to keep a sense of humor because anger destroys you.
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Sometimes I make myself laugh, but that's because I appreciate my sense of humor.
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I have a really dry sense of humor. I don't think it's funny when people wink at the camera. That's more of an actor thing, just committing to whatever the thing is.
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The Padres are really swinging some hot hats tonight!
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When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait until I reached 50 to start again.
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Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.
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An uncontrolled sense of humor is often costly in business.
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I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.
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Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.
