Humor Quotes
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Many people think the Cards at the end of the wire will cross the finish line first.
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When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home.
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Larry Lintz steals second standing up. He slid, but he didn't have to.
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So she ignored Mrs. Arbuthnot's remark and raised forefinger, and said with marked coldness—at least, she tried to make it sound marked— that she supposed they would be going to breakfast, and that she had had hers; but it was her fate that however coldly she sent forth her words they came out sounding quite warm and agreeable. That was because she had a sympathetic and delightful voice, due entirely to some special formation of her throat and the roof of her mouth, and having nothing whatever to do with what she was feeling. Nobody in consequence ever believed they were being snubbed. It was most tiresome. And if she stared icily it did not look icy at all, because her eyes, lovely to begin with, had the added loveliness of very long, soft, dark eyelashes. No icy stare could come out of eyes like that; it got caught and lost in the soft eyelashes, and the persons stared at merely thought they were being regarded with a flattering and exquisite attentiveness. And if ever she was out of humour or definitely cross— and who would not be sometimes in such a world?—-she only looked so pathetic that people all rushed to comfort her, if possible by means of kissing. It was more than tiresome, it was maddening. Nature was determined that she should look and sound angelic. She could never be disagreeable or rude without being completely misunderstood.
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Good-humor is the clear blue sky of the soul.
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A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.
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Putting a little time aside for clean fun and good humor is very necessary to relieve the tensions of our time.
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It's strange how interesting your dreams are, but when someone tries to tell you their dream you're just like "WHATEVER! Why don't you send me an e-mail so I can delete it?"
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I've known Don Mancini for 22 years. We're dear friends. I know his humor, I know his mind.
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When you start, it's not to do with the material so much. It's more to do with how you can control a crowd and make friends with an audience and sell your brand of humor.
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Someone once defined humor as a way to keep from killing yourself. I keep my sense of humor and I stay alive.
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Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
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Over the course of a season, a miscue will cost you more than a good play.
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George Hendrick simply lost that sun-blown pop-up.
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Humor is the most important thing in life. It trumps everything else, and it's the only thing that helps me deal with everything else.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
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I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."
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One does not laugh because one is happy; one is happy because one laughs.
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Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.
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If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain.
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Parker's grand slam is the same as going 4 for 4, even though he went 1 for 4.
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I can only do what I do with a spirit of humor, and faith and give the controls over to something else.
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All the Padres need is a fly ball in the air.
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Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight.
