Humor Quotes
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What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'
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When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait until I reached 50 to start again.
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It's a base hit on the error by Roberts.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.
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One does not laugh because one is happy; one is happy because one laughs.
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Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.
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Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.
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The Padres are really swinging some hot hats tonight!
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Kippers : fish that like a lot of sleep.
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It's funny because it's true, and also it's the kind of humor that makes you think.
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Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.
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Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
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If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.
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If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?
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Humor can help you to disagree without being disagreeable. The key in democracy is not necessarily that we agree, but that we participate....Despite all the heavy problems- domestic and international- there is humor. Humor transcends partisanship.
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After all, when a thought takes one's breath away, a lesson on grammar seems an impertinence.
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All the Padres need is a fly ball in the air.
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If something's neither here nor there, where the hell is it?
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Delicate humor is the crowning virtue of the saints.
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To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
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Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500.
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In a girl I look for honesty above all, someone who I can carry on a conversation with, someone who has a good sense of humor, someone who's true to herself, and to top it, someone who can get ready for a date in less than ten minutes.
