Humor Quotes
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In a girl I look for honesty above all, someone who I can carry on a conversation with, someone who has a good sense of humor, someone who's true to herself, and to top it, someone who can get ready for a date in less than ten minutes.
Erik von Detten
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
Erma Bombeck
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Hats off to drug abusers everywhere.
Jerry Coleman
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I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the street.
Virginia Woolf
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Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
Tommy Cooper
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Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.
Erma Bombeck
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Houston has its largest crowd of the night here this evening.
Jerry Coleman
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You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.
Jerry Coleman
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That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do.
Jerry Coleman
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After all, when a thought takes one's breath away, a lesson on grammar seems an impertinence.
Thomas Wentworth Higginson
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I have a really dry sense of humor. I don't think it's funny when people wink at the camera. That's more of an actor thing, just committing to whatever the thing is.
Topher Grace
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All the Padres need is a fly ball in the air.
Jerry Coleman
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I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling... the rest I spend foolishly.
Chic Murray
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I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.
Steve Martin
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What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'
Jim Gaffigan
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I want to help people, give hope to all. Humor is the foundation of our lives.
Terry Bradshaw
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
Erma Bombeck
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It's funny because it's true, and also it's the kind of humor that makes you think.
Bill Konigsberg
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An uncontrolled sense of humor is often costly in business.
William Feather
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A sense of humor is so handy, isn't it? It lets you see both sides of a question so that you never need do anything.
Winifred Holtby
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Sometimes I make myself laugh, but that's because I appreciate my sense of humor.
Regina Hall
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Laughter keeps you healthy. You can survive by seeing the humor in everything. Thumb your nose at sadness; turn the tables on tragedy. You can’t laugh and be angry, you can’t laugh and feel sad, you can’t laugh and feel envious.
Bel Kaufman
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To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
Tom Lehrer
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As far as how I approach the humor, I think the best comedy is going to happen when I'm myself and act organically to a news item or situation.
Nikki Glaser