Humor Quotes
-
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
-
You might want to put this in the back of your craw and think about it.
-
That's the fourth extra base hit for the Padres - two doubles and a triple.
-
If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?
-
Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.
-
I'm a bitter, sad, sour young man who makes a career out of hastling people with real careers.
-
If something's neither here nor there, where the hell is it?
-
Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
-
People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.
-
When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait until I reached 50 to start again.
-
Humor is a key to a happy life with ADD.
-
All the Padres need is a fly ball in the air.
-
To me, being funny is more important than making a point, but I don't know. Most politicians are so interested in making points that they don't ... I'd rather be funny myself, and I'd rather listen to somebody with a little sense of humor.
-
Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
-
After all, when a thought takes one's breath away, a lesson on grammar seems an impertinence.
-
Kippers : fish that like a lot of sleep.
-
Laughter keeps you healthy. You can survive by seeing the humor in everything. Thumb your nose at sadness; turn the tables on tragedy. You can’t laugh and be angry, you can’t laugh and feel sad, you can’t laugh and feel envious.
-
Humor can help you to disagree without being disagreeable. The key in democracy is not necessarily that we agree, but that we participate....Despite all the heavy problems- domestic and international- there is humor. Humor transcends partisanship.
-
I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
-
As humourless a lump of dough as ever held a torchlight vigil outside the South African Embassy or stuck an AIDS awareness ribbon on an unwilling first-nighter.
-
Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.
-
You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast.
-
Delicate humor is the crowning virtue of the saints.
-
So there I was lying in the gutter. A man stopped and asked '"What's the matter? Did you fall over?" So I said "No. I've a bar of toffee in my back pocket and I was just trying to break it."
