Funny Quotes
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I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.
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I wanted to write at school - to write funny stories which the teacher might ask me to read out to the class. It's all basically about showing off.
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Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.
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One might feel that, at my age, I should look on life with more gravity. After all, I've been privileged to listen, firsthand, tosome of the most profound thinkers of my daywho were all beset by gloom over the condition the world had gotten into. Then why can't I view it with anything but amusement?
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I don't know how to be like a Bill Murray or a Will Ferrell, these guys who know how to make a line funny just by, I don't know, some extra-sense perception. I only know character and emotion and real acting; that's all I know how to do.
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By putting myself out there the way I've been doing people see me as a real person. Even though I do character voices and funny noises the stories are still real and I put them all out there.
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We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!’
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It has to come from a truthful place in order to be funny.
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In the main, there are two sorts of books: those that no one reads and those that no one ought to read.
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It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
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People are either funny or they're not, and you can't teach that - but you can teach people to work together to make an idea better.
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It's funny, sometimes American journalists talk about how bad a country is, that people are lining up for food. That is a good thing! In other countries people don't line up for food: the rich get the food and the poor starve to death.
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I'd rather proliferate funny little rumors than not.
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My son is such a lover, such a caretaker and so funny. He's seven, and he genuinely cracks me up. And my daughter is a fearless powerhouse. They fill me with wonder and admiration.
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You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.
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Good sex is impossible to write about. Lawrence and Updike have given it their all, and the result is still uneasy and unsure. It may be that good sex is something fiction just can't do - like dreams. Most of the sex in my novels is absolutely disastrous. Sex can be funny, but not very sexy.
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You can't be truly rude until you understand good manners.
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I never really considered 'Quantum & Woody' a comedic book or a funny book. I never thought of it as a satire.
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I didn't expect that, to be honest. I just thought the show was funny. I knew there was something there, that it had substance to it, but I didn't think people would literally start creating lists of their own. It's pretty fantastic that people laugh because of the show, but at the same time, they're genuinely considering things that 30-minute sitcoms don't usually make you think about. I'm proud of that.
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A family film is a very particular and explicit form. Family films typically include adult principles that are moral, but they should be as intelligent, funny, and intriguing as any other film.
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Music can be witty, but it's not funny unless it's conceptually funny.
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As a comedian, it really gelled when I started doing standup. Because standup is so much about bravery, especially in the early days. There is no doubt that it is going to go terribly for you over and over and over again. But you cannot get funny without bombing.
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It's funny: 'Next Thing' was written in a time of my life when I was actually really naive and thought that I was wise.
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We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.
