Funny Quotes
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I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.
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It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
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One of the things, and the most exciting, actually definitely the most exciting thing is, having children. You know, I didn't have children before. I had been married only a year before my space station mission, so having three-year-olds is a whole new experience and that's the new adventure. It may sound funny because people have kids every day, but having your own kids, having my own kids, was as fundamentally, or maybe even more fundamentally life changing then even flying in space.
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I'm worried he's going to ... do something crazy." "He lives in a hole in the ground, dresses funny, and occasionally eats his assistants," Eve said. "Define crazy.
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I have rage and anger issues. So I get mad about stuff in real life, and then I yell about it onstage, and luckily, something funny ends up coming out. What I'll do is tape-record it, and it will end up coming out even funnier. And I add more punch lines.
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My son is such a lover, such a caretaker and so funny. He's seven, and he genuinely cracks me up. And my daughter is a fearless powerhouse. They fill me with wonder and admiration.
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We British say "to put the world to rights." I've discovered that that's not the way Americans say it and people scratch their heads and say, "Funny... what does he mean by that?" It means to fix the thing, to make it all better again.
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The thing about 'Harry Potter' is it's great fun because of the people - I was usually with Julie Walters and Mark Williams, Brendan Gleeson, Robbie Coltrane, and the kids. Wonderful, funny, amazing people. If you're going to hang around on a set bored, you might as well do it with Julie Walters.
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I never really considered 'Quantum & Woody' a comedic book or a funny book. I never thought of it as a satire.
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Be careful what you wish for, you may receive it.
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There are practical things which contribute to a joke's funniness. People will find a joke funnier if they are sitting closer together, if it's cold, if they've paid and if they are told it's funny beforehand.
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It's a grim business, this being funny. Every time you come up with a strong, satiric idea, the world tops it.
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If Disney still wants to make Epcot Center futuristic, they could do so by blowing the place up with an atom bomb.
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I love kids; I think they are fun and funny.
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The men I idolized built their bodies and became somebody - like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger - and I thought, 'That can be me.' So I started working out. The funny thing is I didn't realize back then that I was having a defining moment.
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It’s funny how one summer can change everything.
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The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
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I know what's funny, and I probably know the best way to deliver the joke. Whether it's walking out of a room, facing that way, facing this way. I just have a sense of that.
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'Blithe Spirit' is played almost all over Britain somewhere at all times because it is such a unique and ridiculously funny show. But it's also, in fact, under those layers of humor, a very serious show. It's quite misogynistic.
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Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself to seriously is attractive to me
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Music can be witty, but it's not funny unless it's conceptually funny.
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Baldwin is sort of getting to be a bit funny. I don't know what happened, but a few years ago they suddenly went bankrupt and Gibson bought the whole outfit. Since then they haven't seemed to be doing an awfully good job of providing pianos.
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Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so irritating.
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Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.
