Funny Quotes
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It's funny: when I go to a school and speak, and when they hear the back story about me, they want to go read the book.
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I know what's funny, and I probably know the best way to deliver the joke. Whether it's walking out of a room, facing that way, facing this way. I just have a sense of that.
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There are practical things which contribute to a joke's funniness. People will find a joke funnier if they are sitting closer together, if it's cold, if they've paid and if they are told it's funny beforehand.
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I always loved acting, and that's what I wanted to do. It's funny that my first big role is a role where I'm going into a studio to record my singing.
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My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.
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Every minute you spend in planning saves 10 minutes in execution; this gives you a 1,000 percent Return on Energy!
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Generally speaking, cancer - not that funny of a thing. When you hear about it, you don't go, 'Oh, hilarious!'... But within that - comedy, tragedy, hand-in-hand.
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I went out with seven actors in a row. There are problems with that. I've had the really good-looking dramatic actor, and that has its problems. And then I'll go out with the funny guy. It's almost like the funny guy has more to prove.
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It's so funny because my mom is Thai and my dad is this big American guy - and our food tastes were so similar growing up. He was meat and potatoes, I was meat and potatoes.
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People might look at you a bit funny, but it's okay. Artists are allowed to be a bit different.
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My mother and father were very strange people. They tried to be funny which is always very sad to me.
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Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself to seriously is attractive to me
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It's funny, a lot of people think I take myself seriously because I come off so serious sometimes. But it's not that I take myself seriously, I take what I do seriously.
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You initially become funny as a kid because you're looking for attention and love. Psychologists think that's all to do with mother abandonment. I think John Cleese has his depressions, and Terry Gilliam's the same. All of us together make one completely insane person.
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And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony.
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It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up.
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And we're just all made of molecules and we're hurtling through space right now.
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I like clever lyrics, funny lyrics, dumb lyrics. I can never put my finger on what I like about them.
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Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family.
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I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I'm not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.
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Be careful what you wish for, you may receive it.
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In the main, there are two sorts of books: those that no one reads and those that no one ought to read.
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I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells.
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One might feel that, at my age, I should look on life with more gravity. After all, I've been privileged to listen, firsthand, tosome of the most profound thinkers of my daywho were all beset by gloom over the condition the world had gotten into. Then why can't I view it with anything but amusement?
