Funny Quotes
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I'm like the master of ceremonies being funny, and then sometimes people you're with, girlfriends and stuff, are like, 'God I wish I had the person on stage to be with all the time.'
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You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.
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What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.
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When I got a call to do the voice of Johnny in an episode of 'American Dad' titled 'I Can't Stan You,' it was a great opportunity to be a part of a really funny cutting-edge show on television. I really got into the character, and I was able to do some improvisation, which allowed me to mix in part of my personality into the script.
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When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time.
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I think sometimes in comedy the characters are often sacrificed for the joke, and it's more important for it to be funny than for there to be love.
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The media know exactly what they're doing, focusing our attention on Arsenio's hairdo. We need to keep our brains brimming with rubbish. If we didn't, we might think about things.
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I think I'm one of those guys who was sort of always in comedy. I thought of myself - and other people seemed to think of me - as funny from a very young age. I was a very young comedy nerd and I even did sketch comedy in high school and college. I wrote and shot sketches on video and acted in them.
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To me, the musical is best when it's a musical comedy. So if you have a very, very funny show, and very good, funny songs, that's what the musical does best.
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I have my friends who like me because I'm me and not because I'm in films, and that's really important to me. They tell me, 'You look terrible; don't wear that,' or 'That joke wasn't funny,' and that's really important: they keep me grounded.
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I have an all-Japanese design team, and none of them speak English. So it's often funny and surprising how my ideas end up lost in translation.
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Generally speaking, cancer - not that funny of a thing. When you hear about it, you don't go, 'Oh, hilarious!'... But within that - comedy, tragedy, hand-in-hand.
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The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
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I was being chased by a giant crab. Audience laughs That's not funny.
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I find that there's so much funny stuff in real life, and I am much more interested in super grounded, real stuff, so now I just want things to feel real and authentic.
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Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push that boundary.
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Journalists said they had never seen so many funny women as leads when we did 'Hotwives' - we had a cast of seven very funny women. That doesn't happen.
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It's always cool on the airplane when people are watching 'SVU.' It's funny. And it's always the reruns.
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The commies are the only people on earth who think Star Wars will work. If they're that gullible, maybe we should have held the summit at Atlantic City and let them lose all their missiles playing Keno.
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Game design is a funny thing. There are people out there who are really good at it, but it's not clear that they can teach it. It's a very intuitive process. It's an art.
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I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.
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It's funny: the one time I got star-struck was when I met Snoop Dogg. I gave him a hug and said, 'I love you, man.'
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The drawings in 'Portal' were actually me scribbling that stuff... I had a funny moment when I realized that someone gotten 'The cake is a lie' tattooed on themselves. It was really interesting to see my handwriting tattooed on another human being. That... that's odd.
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Relax, you're among friends now. The long hard day is over and the roly-poly funny man is before you.
