Funny Quotes
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That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home.
Gabriel Iglesias
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You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, "Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out."
Jim Gaffigan
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Humor, for me, is really a gate of departure. It's a way of enticing a reader into a poem so that less funny things can take place later. It really is not an end in itself, but a means to an end.
Billy Collins
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That's why you put out records: hoping that people will connect with them. I mean, I play music for myself, for sure, and I would still play music even if people didn't like it. But it means a lot when it connects to people and they enjoy it. But it's funny: you get criticism as much as you get praise. It kind of evens out after awhile.
James Edward Olliges Jr.
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Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy.
Seth Meyers
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Because I grew up with women, I have a certain amount of charm, and I'm all right to get on with, kind enough, funny enough, blah blah blah.
James Nesbitt
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I try to sign for as many kids as possible. Kids come first, and I'll always sign for a kid before an adult. It's funny, because I was never big into autographs as a kid. The only player who I ever wanted an autograph from was Dave Winfield.
Derek Jeter
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‘Aren’t people funny? I don’t find where one sits at dinner fascinating at all,’ lied the Princess.
Edward St Aubyn
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We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.
David Walliams
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You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach...but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?"
Jim Gaffigan
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I like clever lyrics, funny lyrics, dumb lyrics. I can never put my finger on what I like about them.
James Murphy
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It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.
Julia Roberts
