Funny Quotes
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My mother and father were very strange people. They tried to be funny which is always very sad to me.
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I knew comedy was the thing for me when I was the only Asian kid in high school... who failed math.
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It's funny, a lot of people think I take myself seriously because I come off so serious sometimes. But it's not that I take myself seriously, I take what I do seriously.
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Generally speaking, cancer - not that funny of a thing. When you hear about it, you don't go, 'Oh, hilarious!'... But within that - comedy, tragedy, hand-in-hand.
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My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.
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It's funny, because I sometimes feel that I'm most creative when I'm pregnant.
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And we're just all made of molecules and we're hurtling through space right now.
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It's so funny because my mom is Thai and my dad is this big American guy - and our food tastes were so similar growing up. He was meat and potatoes, I was meat and potatoes.
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I always loved acting, and that's what I wanted to do. It's funny that my first big role is a role where I'm going into a studio to record my singing.
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I went out with seven actors in a row. There are problems with that. I've had the really good-looking dramatic actor, and that has its problems. And then I'll go out with the funny guy. It's almost like the funny guy has more to prove.
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Humor, for me, is really a gate of departure. It's a way of enticing a reader into a poem so that less funny things can take place later. It really is not an end in itself, but a means to an end.
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I like clever lyrics, funny lyrics, dumb lyrics. I can never put my finger on what I like about them.
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There are practical things which contribute to a joke's funniness. People will find a joke funnier if they are sitting closer together, if it's cold, if they've paid and if they are told it's funny beforehand.
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It's funny: when I go to a school and speak, and when they hear the back story about me, they want to go read the book.
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God, I needed you," he murmured. "I can't even tell you how many times I thought about this. The funny thing is, I don't need you any less now. I think I need you more." ~Shane~
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I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells.
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People are just funny sometimes if you find the right character.
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And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony.
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Sometimes [high school speech team] was funny, other times it was just talking, but it gave me the confidence to speak in front of people after doing that for a whole year.
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Cable is a great medium. It's something I respond to. I'm not doing sitcoms. People don't find me funny. That's just the way it is.
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Anyone who is funny and doesn't take herself to seriously is attractive to me
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Be careful what you wish for, you may receive it.
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Every minute you spend in planning saves 10 minutes in execution; this gives you a 1,000 percent Return on Energy!
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Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family.
