Funny Quotes
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How did we get to the point where we're paying for bottled water? That must have been some weird marketing meeting over in France. Some French guy's sitting there, like, "How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water."
Jim Gaffigan
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I remember my dad turning to me - my dad loves to turn to me and explain why things are funny. He used to do that with Seinfeld all the time. He did it with Colombo, too, set the scene.
Andy Samberg
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Kind of the exhausting thing about doing pure comedy, or something that's broader, is you're kind of a slave to the laugh. If it's not funny, then there's not much point in doing it. The kind of ueber-objective is to make people laugh. You always have to have that in the back of your mind, 'Eh, I've got to figure out a way to make this funny.'
John C. Reilly
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It's funny, though, because when I first started going to races after we met, I was extremely nervous. It's like being backstage and hoping you don't trip over something or break an amp or accidentally speak into a live microphone, so I was really hesitant.
Ashley Judd
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Since kindergarten, I was the shortest kid in class. They always put me toward the front in school pictures, because you couldn't see me if I was in the back. It was kind of funny.
Laurie Hernandez
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I like expensive-looking, nuanced, hour-long dramas that don't smell like regular TV. That and cheap, funny shows that feel like one guy made them by himself. So ... artisanal television?
Christopher McCulloch
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Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick.
Joe Rogan
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I actually saw 'Piranha 3DD' - God, it's so weird saying that - and it's actually really surprising. It's really good. It's funny; it's fun. And you actually want more when you see it.
Chris Zylka
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You have to be funny about it and honest about it. You can't leave yourself out of that mix. You have to be honest enough to say, I'm that messed-up one in the family.
Louie Anderson
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Commissioners are obsessed with young people, which is funny because they don't watch telly - only old people do.
Jennifer Saunders
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An article about Cho started out, 'Funny, sexy, zaftig Margaret Cho...' What is 'zaftig?' Isn't that German for 'big fat pig?' I guess I was lucky- 'zaftig' is kind of a nice word. It could have been, 'Funny, sexy, OBESE Margaret Cho.'
Margaret Cho
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The funny part is I feel like somebody is stalking me, like, at my local course and sizing up my game.
Stephen Curry
