Funny Quotes
-
It's funny: the one time I got star-struck was when I met Snoop Dogg. I gave him a hug and said, 'I love you, man.'
-
I'm like the master of ceremonies being funny, and then sometimes people you're with, girlfriends and stuff, are like, 'God I wish I had the person on stage to be with all the time.'
-
It's funny how God will just keep using you, and our motto around our family forever has been, 'Just let Him use you.'
-
What's funny is that there's a lot of great Australian actors in American movies but you don't often hear them do their Australian, original accent.
-
It’s funny how one summer can change everything.
-
I want to get back and figure out how we're going to make 'The Tonight Show' funny and good.
-
I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican.
-
In the Netherlands I read the first chapter of Exquisite Corpse to an audience that laughed in all the places I thought were funny - an experience I've never had in America!
-
It's been very important throughout my career that I've met all the guys I've copied, because at each stage they've said, 'Don't play like me, play like you.'
-
Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."
-
Weird Al was something that kids would listen to. It's funny, super funny, smart. It's just kind of jokey. I remember hearing 'Smells Like Nirvana' before hearing 'Smells Like Teen Spirit.' That's how it really worked. I think it's just such a cool thing how he introduced us to so many cool bands. Even Queen - 'Another One Rides the Bus.'
-
The commies are the only people on earth who think Star Wars will work. If they're that gullible, maybe we should have held the summit at Atlantic City and let them lose all their missiles playing Keno.
-
Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredictable.
-
Tech is a funny industry; I don't think there is any other industry on the planet that reinvents itself every 10-12 years.
-
I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.
-
If it's scary, it's supposed to be scary. If it's funny, it's supposed to be funny. That's all I try to do.
-
It's funny: Your relationship changes with a song over time. After a year or so, you're a different person, so your songs, you don't connect with them like you did.
-
I do get funny people sometimes coming up to me in supermarkets in America with my picture in their pocket, which is a bit strange.
-
One thing about D.C. that's funny to me is that you end up running into famous political figures who you've seen on television who you think are not real until you see them.
-
It's good to be funny when you are a comedian.
-
People just don't laugh when their family is violated, and you don't shrug it off. You band together and you defend together. It's a funny, primitive instinct.
-
If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny.
-
Yes, illness is serious, but the indignities are also funny. And that defines my world view.
-
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.
