Funny Quotes
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I love the impatience of New York... You ever had somebody not ask you for directions, but demand them? You're just innocently walking down the street, you hear a horn, all of a sudden some guy's like, 'HOLLAND TUNNEL!!!' ...You know, like you were supposed to fax this guy directions. Suddenly, you're wasting HIS time.
Jim Gaffigan
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So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been going on in my life.
Piper Perabo
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I value comedy. I value somebody who can be funny.
James L. Brooks
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We love Stewart. He does that song from 'Rawhide,' which is really funny coming from an Englishman. But if you're trying to concentrate and you're under the gun, (his whistling) penetrates in an inescapable way.
Anne Baxter
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If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?
Cynthia Heimel
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I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it flew down a hill around a bend and crashed through a brick wall. I wasn't hurt but luckily my father had the presence of mind to kick my head in.
Chic Murray
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Since kindergarten, I was the shortest kid in class. They always put me toward the front in school pictures, because you couldn't see me if I was in the back. It was kind of funny.
Laurie Hernandez
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My parents' marriage is a gift to everyone around them - 60 years of making their kids laugh. How many parents are actually funny?
Louise Erdrich
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I think 'Breaking Bad' is brilliant. Good drama in the U.S. is also so funny and blurs the line between light and dark.
Arthur Darvill
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I really like 'Passion of the Christ.' I like that movie. I also like 'We Were Soldiers,' and 'Braveheart.' And 'Napoleon Dynamite' - that movie was funny.
Luke Benward
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One thing about D.C. that's funny to me is that you end up running into famous political figures who you've seen on television who you think are not real until you see them.
Maz Jobrani
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I just walk funny.
Jim Brown
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Tech is a funny industry; I don't think there is any other industry on the planet that reinvents itself every 10-12 years.
Edward Zander
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What's funny is that there's a lot of great Australian actors in American movies but you don't often hear them do their Australian, original accent.
Owen Wilson
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To me, the movie is more funny if, at the same time, you can think a little bit or dream a little bit.
Quentin Dupieux
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I need to be cheered up a lot. I think funny people are people who need to be cheered up.
Lynda Barry
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I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican.
Marion Barry
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I always felt like I could be funny, but there was a part of me that always judged actors so harshly... I thought all actors were dumb-that they must have serious emotional problems. Even if they don't, that's the perception I had of them. I didn't want anyone to see me that way.
Lisa Kudrow
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It's funny, because athletes want to be rockers and vice versa.
Matt Willig
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America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.
John Barrymore
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My mother told me I said to her, at age three, 'I'm going to go to Italy and get my father in a tractor.' 'You've never seen quite so fierce a little boy as you were,' she told me. She tried to explain that I couldn't get my father in a tractor. Apparently I looked at her and narrowed my eyes and said, 'In that case, I'm going in a double-decker bus,' and stomped off. Which is kind of funny, but it's very sad, as well.
Roger Waters Pink Floyd
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It was funny to just take a backseat and be like, 'Wow, I might be in this crazy place, but maybe I don't need to understand everything, maybe I don't need to be someone else.'
Zach Condon
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I have my friends who like me because I'm me and not because I'm in films, and that's really important to me. They tell me, 'You look terrible; don't wear that,' or 'That joke wasn't funny,' and that's really important: they keep me grounded.
Angourie Rice
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It'll leave you feeling hollow and helpless, and there is where you'll stay. Ain't it funny child, love sometimes leaves you as dead as yesterday.
Zakk Wylde Black Label Society