Funny Quotes

Often, when people don't do so well in a monologue at UCB, it's because they're racking their brain so hard to be funny that they're just not honest and don't just tell a true story, which is what we want.

Matt Besser
- People
- True
- Brain
The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Jim Gaffigan
- Humor
- Dramatic
- Removal

I never looked at myself as the fat sister. Sometimes I would beat people to the punch and say, 'Oh I'm the fat, funny one,' because that's what people would say about me. But I never really thought that.

Khloe Kardashian
- People
- Funny
- Sister
It's so funny, you go to acting school thinking you're going to learn how to be other people, but really it taught me how to be myself. Because it's in understanding yourself deeply that you can lend yourself to another person's circumstances and another person's experience.

Lupita Nyong'o
- People
- Thinking
- School
It was Nick Willing's intention to make 'Hatter' as sarcastically British funny as he could.

Andrew-Lee Potts
- Funny
As he was valiant, I honour him. But as he was ambitious, I slew him.

William Shakespeare
- Life
- Ambitious
- Honour
When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means everything's wrong! And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

Homer
- Woman
- Laugh
- Wrong
You can give a guy a funny line, but you can't make him say it funny.

Brad Garrett
- Guy
- Funny