Funny Quotes
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
Erma Bombeck
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Gamer humor ranges all over the place. What it comes down to is taking a lot of what we see in gaming and we're familiar with in gaming and being like, 'OK, hold on, let's re-examine this for a second. Isn't this funny? Isn't this strange? Isn't this a little bit ridiculous?' That's where it is.
Freddie Wong
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Making modern games funny would be easy as pie if it was anybody's goal to actually make a funny game.
Doug TenNapel
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Bacon is like the opposite of medicine. It's like, "Take that, Lipitor."
Jim Gaffigan
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'The Amazing Race' has always been the gold standard of reality television to me. It's smart, it's funny, and it's entertaining as hell.
Burnie Burns
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People of my generation in Portugal fell into the magic potion of political ideas. What was very funny about this revolution was that it did not bring wealth to the Portuguese. But it brought language, ideas. You'd go to the fish market, and all the women who were selling fish would call each other fascist, communist.
Maria de Medeiros
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When I was a kid I didn't feel like I fit in because - this is really silly and I probably shouldn't say it, but, I didn't think anything was funny. So I used to go home and literally cry to my mom and my step-dad at the time and I didn't think anything was funny. I couldn't laugh.
Courteney Cox
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I'm not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny.
Philippe Falardeau
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I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I've never really played comedic parts.
Joel Kinnaman
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Dominic Sherwood would always tell me a joke right before it was my take or my close up. He'd say a funny joke, and I couldn't stop laughing, even after they said, 'Action.'
Emeraude Toubia
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A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My chips are too hot.
Tommy Cooper
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People never ask people doing serious music, 'Do you ever think about doing funny music?'
Weird Al Yankovic
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Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, I'll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?
Bette Midler
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Every American, to the last man, lays claim to a "sense" of humor and guards it as his most significant spiritual trait, yet rejects humor as a contaminating element wherever found. America is a nation of comics and comedians; nevertheless, humor has no stature and is accepted only after the death of the perpetrator.
E. B. White
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It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.
Joe Rogan
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It's funny how a song can start in your mind, and then when it goes through all the filters, it ends up in a totally different spot.
Jenny Lewis
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Somebody said to me, 'But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.' That's a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, 'Now, let's write a swimming pool.'
Paul McCartney
Paul McCartney and Wings
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There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.
Douglas Coupland
