Larry David Quotes
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I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.'
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Drugs scared me.
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Woody Allen likes to do a lot of master shots. He likes to get the whole thing in one take, and so you could be going along doing a scene, and then the next to last line, all of a sudden, you stumble, and you have to go back to first base.
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Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.
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I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.
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Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
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I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them.
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Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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I think that what people imagine they're going through is much worse than what they are going through.
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There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.
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Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me.
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I'm not quite as anonymous as I was.
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I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
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It's that I wasn't suited to do the kind of comedy that these people were coming to hear - mainstream comedy.
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Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
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I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself.
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And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
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My background is degradation and sloth, mostly.
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I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.
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I'm cranky.
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Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days.
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A lot of sexual harassment stuff in the news, and I couldn't help but notice a very disturbing pattern emerging, which is that many of the predators, not all, but many of them are Jews
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I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not even interesting to me.