William Howard Taft Quotes

Well, I have one consolation. No candidate was ever elected ex-president by such a large majority!

William Howard Taft

• Funny
• President
• Humor
• Exes

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Quotes to Explore

• I was funny around my family. My family, they're pretty funny, too.

  

  Wanda Sykes
  • Family
  • Pretty
  • Funny

• I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.

  

  P. J. O'Rourke
  • Home
  • Guy
  • Pretty

• It may sound funny, but it's true: I tried to put myself through the 12-step program. I didn't want to attend a real meeting; my role didn't really require that, and I feel those meetings are sort of sacred, and they're anonymous for a reason. I tried to deal with some of my love of snacks - and I relapsed a lot.

  

  Octavia Spencer
  • True
  • Funny
  • Feel

• I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.

  

  Edith Sitwell
  • Funny
  • Wish
  • Government

• I don't think arrested-adolescent humor will fade. Maybe the form will change, but I guarantee its replacement will still be based in immature behavior from mature figures.

  

  Adam McKay
  • Think
  • Change
  • Humor

• Whenever I'm in the U.K., people say I have an American accent. Which is, obviously, funny.

  

  Anton Zaslavski
  • People
  • American
  • Funny

• People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

  

  Isaac Asimov
  • People
  • Great
  • Funny

• It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.'

  

  Garrett Hedlund
  • Long
  • Women
  • Kids

• My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.

  

  Vanessa Bayer
  • Friends
  • Guy
  • Funny

• Pinochet and Barack Obama both have the same primary goal, and that's to be president and stay president as long as allowed.

  

  Viggo Mortensen
  • Long
  • Goal
  • President

• Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

  

  Abraham Lincoln
  • Funny
  • See
  • Others

• Humor can be an incredible lacerating and effective weapon. And that is the way I use it.

  

  Carl Hiaasen
  • Way
  • Humor
  • Incredible

• Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.

  

  P. J. O'Rourke
  • Funny
  • Situation
  • Saying

• If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

  

  Abraham Lincoln
  • Funny
  • Would
  • Wearing

• I like children - fried.

  

  W. C. Fields
  • Children
  • Funny
  • Like

• Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious.

  

  Caitlin Hale
  • Black
  • Funny
  • Day

• I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true.

  

  Edmund Hillary
  • Great
  • True
  • Funny

• Being funny is a symptom of what's underneath. You're pumping out all that energy because something else is going on inside you, some opposing force, something uncomfortable.

  

  Faith Prince
  • Energy
  • Funny
  • Inside

• My guess would be if a player makes it to the fourth round and it goes to Monday, no one's going to jump ship. That's payday.

  

  Brad Faxon
  • Player
  • Monday
  • Payday

• She was my first love, and I loved her as only a boy loves.

  

  James Weldon Johnson
  • She
  • Boy

• Whenever the government of the United States shall break up, it will probably be in consequence of a false direction having been given to public opinion.

  

  James F. Cooper
  • Up
  • Opinion

• As the physical, digital, and biological worlds continue to converge, new technologies and platforms will increasingly enable citizens to engage with governments, voice their opinions, coordinate their efforts, and even circumvent the supervision of public authorities.

  

  Klaus Schwab

• The great irony to Dirk [Gently] is that he sees connections in everything, but the one thing he fails and struggles with most is connecting with other people.

  

  Samuel Barnett
  • People
  • Great
  • Struggle

• Well, I have one consolation. No candidate was ever elected ex-president by such a large majority!

  

  William Howard Taft
  • Funny
  • President
  • Humor