Joke Quotes
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I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost.
Milton Berle -
I never used to be as good, you get better. I've just gotten better and quicker at figuring out the joke.
Gerry Dee
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Strict seriousness was far more dangerous than any joke.
Saul Bellow -
Power is nothing without a rock solid core. Pilates is the key to activating it...guys don't be fooled just 'cause women do it. It's no joke. Try it and you'll find out real quick.
DeMarcus Ware -
Good shoes - they're the ultimate finishing touch. In fact, we actually joke in my family that your shoes have to be shined before you can leave the house.
Cam Newton -
I did not survive everything. No one ever does. Little pieces of you - sometimes the best of you - get lost in a little lie here, a little joke there. And of course, the aftereffect is the tiny sob - unseen, unheard, deeply felt.
Carol Grace -
I thought I could make a sarcastic joke about it. But it's based on my own struggle with how much to give, how much it's really helping or not, and how foolish or not I feel. Giving sometimes backfires.
Nicole Holofcener -
An Englishman does not joke about such an important matter as a bet.
Jules Verne
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I don't want to be the joke of the world, and I don't want to be thought of as another Hitler swallowing up people.
Abd al-Karim Qasim -
Indiana's governor is coming under fire for a new law that some people feel is anti-gay. The governor now says he is not anti-gay. Then immediately afterwards he said, 'April Fools.' It wasn't his best joke.
Conan O'Brien -
My friends joke that I love planning things - which I do - and the reason is because there's so much I want to do, so many things I want to see and experience. If I don't actively pursue these things, I will never do everything I want to do, in life and in my career. That's what gets me up in the morning.
Benjamin Stone -
Sex is God's joke on the human race ... if we didn't have sex to make us ridiculous, She would have had to think up something else instead.
Erica Jong -
Desegregation is a joke.
Eunice Kathleen Waymon -
Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.
Robin Williams
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What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about in stand-up.
Aziz Ansari -
Everything was meant to wind people up in Make It Big. I don't know why we had this great pleasure in winding people up, but we really did think they would get the joke. And it backfired on us.
George Michael -
I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't; it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.
Norm MacDonald -
I normally joke around between songs to alleviate some of the heaviness - for the crowd, but also for myself. Tonight I just didn’t have that side of it in me.
John Paul White -
They tell us that we live in a great free republic; that our institutions are democratic; that we are a free and self-governing people. That is too much, even for a joke. ... Wars throughout history have been waged for conquest and plunder... And that is war in a nutshell. The master class has always declared the wars; the subject class has always fought the battles.
Eugene V. Debs -
Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.
David Rees
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My father was always clowning around. It was a huge influence on me. In my family, everything is turned into a joke.
Ben Miller -
Fashion is kinda a joke. I don't get too bogged down in the clothes. For me, it's one big art project, just a canvas to show that fashion should have a brand which has someone behind it who cares about different contexts. Social things.
Virgil Abloh -
We might adapt for the artist the joke about there being nothing more dangerous than instruments of war in the hands of generals. In the same way, there is nothing more dangerous than justice in the hands of judges, and a paint brush in the hands of a painter! Just think of the danger to society! But today we haven't the heart to expel the painters and poets because we no longer admit to ourselves that there is any danger in keeping them in our midst.
Pablo Picasso -
Telling a joke is like doing a linguistic pirouette. If you fall flat, it means not only that you don't have the wherewithal to do it well but also that you have misjudged your own skill, that you are fool enough to undertake something you can't finish -- and that lack of self-control or self-knowledge is a lack of grace.
Eva Hoffman