Joke Quotes
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I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.
Norman Wisdom
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They tell us that we live in a great free republic; that our institutions are democratic; that we are a free and self-governing people. That is too much, even for a joke. ... Wars throughout history have been waged for conquest and plunder... And that is war in a nutshell. The master class has always declared the wars; the subject class has always fought the battles.
Eugene V. Debs
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We might adapt for the artist the joke about there being nothing more dangerous than instruments of war in the hands of generals. In the same way, there is nothing more dangerous than justice in the hands of judges, and a paint brush in the hands of a painter! Just think of the danger to society! But today we haven't the heart to expel the painters and poets because we no longer admit to ourselves that there is any danger in keeping them in our midst.
Pablo Picasso
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It's natural to feel jittery around new people. But sometimes you can get over your jitters if you make a joke. So when the Swedish housekeeper brought her breakfast on a tray, Charity said something cheeky about eating Lady Margaret out of house and home. But the big red-faced woman took no notice at all. So then Charity had to look totally relaxed and unconcerned as she enjoyed her breakfast in bed, which was easy enough after the first bite. The spooky Swedish housekeeper really was a fabulous cook. And Charity believed believed in looking for the best in people.
Elizabeth Jane Howard
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My teammates know I’m down to earth. I’ll joke with them. But when it comes to basketball, I try to be serious about it.
Chamique Holdsclaw
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My friends joke that I love planning things - which I do - and the reason is because there's so much I want to do, so many things I want to see and experience. If I don't actively pursue these things, I will never do everything I want to do, in life and in my career. That's what gets me up in the morning.
Benjamin Stone
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Please don't make me a joke. End the interview with what I believe. I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one... I want to be an artist, an actress with integrity...
Marilyn Monroe
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We always joke that our road crew will have to wheelchair us up onstage soon because this is what we do. This is what we love to do. This is what God put us on earth to do until the day we take our last breath.
Johnny Van Zant
Lynyrd Skynyrd
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By no means was I trying to offend anyone in their organization. It was just something funny for the guys to laugh at in the locker room. They're our rivals, and I apologize if I offended anyone, but it was just a little joke.
Alecko Eskandarian
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
Robert Frost
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You can't just explain a joke. Either it isn't funny, or the person just totally missed the punchline.
Cass McCombs
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I thought I could make a sarcastic joke about it. But it's based on my own struggle with how much to give, how much it's really helping or not, and how foolish or not I feel. Giving sometimes backfires.
Nicole Holofcener
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It's almost a joke how good I am at charades. Not to pat my own back, but I'm literally - I'm kind of unstoppable.
Wilson Bethel
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A good joke can work in New York and Kentucky.
Michelle Wolf
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Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.
Hermann Hesse
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There are practical things which contribute to a joke's funniness. People will find a joke funnier if they are sitting closer together, if it's cold, if they've paid and if they are told it's funny beforehand.
Ben Miller
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Everything was meant to wind people up in Make It Big. I don't know why we had this great pleasure in winding people up, but we really did think they would get the joke. And it backfired on us.
George Michael
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In Beijing, the joke among hacks is that, after the drive in from the airport, you are ready to write a column; after a month, you feel the stirrings of an idea-book; but after a year, you struggle to write anything at all, because you've finally discovered just how much you don't know.
Evan Osnos
