Joke Quotes
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I don't get the animosity when someone tells a joke that you don't like. Whereas if someone made a dish that you don't like if you went to a restaurant, you would either try another dish or you just don't go back to that restaurant. But you don't say like, "I did not like the hamburger here. This restaurant should be shut down. It should be banned from making hamburgers. No one else should have these hamburgers." And everyone else is like, "No, you wouldn't do that."
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Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.
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Seriousness is an accident of time. It consists of putting too high a value on time. In eternity there is no time. Eternity is a moment, just long enough for a joke.
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I lived that life for real, so to talk about it was like a joke, you know what I mean?
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I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost.
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Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he's told a million times in a row in the past year, on the road, and making it look like he's pulling it out of thin air.
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There are practical things which contribute to a joke's funniness. People will find a joke funnier if they are sitting closer together, if it's cold, if they've paid and if they are told it's funny beforehand.
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I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke.
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I've always been jealous of people who can tell stories really well in a room with a bunch of people. I've never been good at it because I'm not cocky enough to be like, "Okay, everyone, listen right now to this. I'm going to blow your minds with this joke."
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The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.
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Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through their skins.
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I merely repeat the old joke. ‘It’s about respecting other people’s property. I make it my property so that I can properly respect it.
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Couldn't we end this interview with what I really want to say? That what the world really needs is a real feeling of kinship -- everybody: stars, laborers, Negroes, Jews, Arabs. We are all brothers. If we could end this article saying just that, we'd get down to what we should all be talking about. Please don't make me a joke. End the interview with what I believe.
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We might adapt for the artist the joke about there being nothing more dangerous than instruments of war in the hands of generals. In the same way, there is nothing more dangerous than justice in the hands of judges, and a paint brush in the hands of a painter! Just think of the danger to society! But today we haven't the heart to expel the painters and poets because we no longer admit to ourselves that there is any danger in keeping them in our midst.
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I normally joke around between songs to alleviate some of the heaviness - for the crowd, but also for myself. Tonight I just didn’t have that side of it in me.
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I think that the joke and the ghost story both have a similar set up in that you kind of set something up and pay it off with a laugh or a scare.
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I have been blessed to work for so many years with great musicians. That's my joke with my manager: that I'm addicted to musicians.
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Ain't singing for Pepsi, ain't singing for Coke, I don't sing for nobody, makes me look like a joke.
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I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.
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Please don't make me a joke. End the interview with what I believe. I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one... I want to be an artist, an actress with integrity...
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They tell us that we live in a great free republic; that our institutions are democratic; that we are a free and self-governing people. That is too much, even for a joke. ... Wars throughout history have been waged for conquest and plunder... And that is war in a nutshell. The master class has always declared the wars; the subject class has always fought the battles.
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A true Englishman doesn't joke when he is talking about so serious a thing as a wager.
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Rapping was a joke, but the music helped me break out of my shell.
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I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
