Joke Quotes
-
I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over.
-
A college joke to cure the dumps.
-
I don't get the animosity when someone tells a joke that you don't like. Whereas if someone made a dish that you don't like if you went to a restaurant, you would either try another dish or you just don't go back to that restaurant. But you don't say like, "I did not like the hamburger here. This restaurant should be shut down. It should be banned from making hamburgers. No one else should have these hamburgers." And everyone else is like, "No, you wouldn't do that."
-
Civil disobedience presupposes willing obedience of our self-imposed rules, and without it civil disobedience would be a cruel joke.
-
I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke.
-
Seriousness is an accident of time. It consists of putting too high a value on time. In eternity there is no time. Eternity is a moment, just long enough for a joke.
-
I lived that life for real, so to talk about it was like a joke, you know what I mean?
-
I've always been jealous of people who can tell stories really well in a room with a bunch of people. I've never been good at it because I'm not cocky enough to be like, "Okay, everyone, listen right now to this. I'm going to blow your minds with this joke."
-
There are practical things which contribute to a joke's funniness. People will find a joke funnier if they are sitting closer together, if it's cold, if they've paid and if they are told it's funny beforehand.
-
Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he's told a million times in a row in the past year, on the road, and making it look like he's pulling it out of thin air.
-
The vast majority of people that have gotten mad at me for a joke that I've made were people that were, A, never going to see me in the first place, or, B, were dragged to see me by somebody else.
-
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
-
Ain't singing for Pepsi, ain't singing for Coke, I don't sing for nobody, makes me look like a joke.
-
Couldn't we end this interview with what I really want to say? That what the world really needs is a real feeling of kinship -- everybody: stars, laborers, Negroes, Jews, Arabs. We are all brothers. If we could end this article saying just that, we'd get down to what we should all be talking about. Please don't make me a joke. End the interview with what I believe.
-
It's natural to feel jittery around new people. But sometimes you can get over your jitters if you make a joke. So when the Swedish housekeeper brought her breakfast on a tray, Charity said something cheeky about eating Lady Margaret out of house and home. But the big red-faced woman took no notice at all. So then Charity had to look totally relaxed and unconcerned as she enjoyed her breakfast in bed, which was easy enough after the first bite. The spooky Swedish housekeeper really was a fabulous cook. And Charity believed believed in looking for the best in people.
-
I normally joke around between songs to alleviate some of the heaviness - for the crowd, but also for myself. Tonight I just didn’t have that side of it in me.
-
I merely repeat the old joke. ‘It’s about respecting other people’s property. I make it my property so that I can properly respect it.
-
We might adapt for the artist the joke about there being nothing more dangerous than instruments of war in the hands of generals. In the same way, there is nothing more dangerous than justice in the hands of judges, and a paint brush in the hands of a painter! Just think of the danger to society! But today we haven't the heart to expel the painters and poets because we no longer admit to ourselves that there is any danger in keeping them in our midst.
-
Rapping was a joke, but the music helped me break out of my shell.
-
I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
-
Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through their skins.
-
A true Englishman doesn't joke when he is talking about so serious a thing as a wager.
-
I have been blessed to work for so many years with great musicians. That's my joke with my manager: that I'm addicted to musicians.
-
I think that the joke and the ghost story both have a similar set up in that you kind of set something up and pay it off with a laugh or a scare.
