Joke Quotes
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Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.
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When a drawing doesn't come out right it's because I haven't figured out where the joke is. Not that every drawing has a joke, but every drawing has a point. At least it should have. And you figure out where the point is.
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There was the joke about Switzerland being an island surrounded by land. This was never true.
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What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about in stand-up.
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I'm still no good at ball-and-stick games. If I go play golf with the guys, it's intended to be a joke.
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The moment you think of a joke is the best moment.
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It started out as kind of a joke, and then it wasn't funny anymore because money became involved. Deep down, nothing about money is funny.
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Sometimes I want to joke but my English isn't perfect. Sometimes people are wondering what I'm talking about.
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What do we care, if the world is a joke? We'll give it a big kiss, we'll give it a poke. Death wears a big hat cause he's a big bloke.
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Gene Autry was the most. It may sound like a joke - Go and have a look in my bedroom, It's covered with Gene Autry posters. He was my first musical influence.
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Lisa Joy is so incredible, and she's always on set making sure everyone is okay and being respectful. We have a zero-tolerance policy on that set in the Westworlds. If anyone is inappropriate or makes you uncomfortable, they're literally gone in two seconds. It's no joke. It's very professional.
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A joke a day keeps the gloom away!
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I honestly and truly love and believe in what I'm making, and it's not a joke, whereas some people would take a singer – songwriter sitting behind an acoustic guitar as sincere.
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Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it ‘all the money’ but they changed it to alimony.
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After you do a joke a few times, you have material that you know works. Although sometimes I have a joke that has worked a bunch of times and then one night it'll flop. And that's when I really take a hard look at myself and say: 'Well, that crowd is obviously wrong. That crowd has absolutely no idea what it's talking about.
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I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.
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The joke may be that no one likes fruitcake, but if that were the case, they wouldn't appear on store shelves every holiday season!
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What do you suppose is the use of a child without any meaning? Even a joke should have some meaning-- and a child's more imporant than a joke, I hope. You couldn't deny that, even if you tried with both hands.
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Every joke is an experiment. When you sit, alone, and write a script, or just a joke, you really have no idea if it will succeed.
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I think the serious things really are the things that make for happiness – people and things that are compatible, love.... So many people are content just to sit around and talk about them instead of getting out and attaining them. As if life were a joke of some kind.
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We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks. We're real sarcastic. Really ironic and stuff. We mean well, but we joke around probably a lot more than we should.
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Comedy has always been important in my family. If you got in a good joke at the dinner table, it meant more than almost anything else.
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The idea of beetles came into my head. I decided to spell it BEATles to make it look like beat music, just a joke.
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I try not to be mean for the sake of being mean, and if I do do a joke or a tweet or something that is at someone's expense - and those are my fine lines; obviously they're there - I want it to be something that's pretty much across the board we all as a society agree this is bad.
