Joke Quotes
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When I was a little kid, I was chunky. My mother would always joke she would have to get me husky jeans for larger kids. My wife reminds me sometimes, if I overdo it with chocolate chip cookies, that I will have to wear husky pants again.
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Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it ‘all the money’ but they changed it to alimony.
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Fashion is kinda a joke. I don't get too bogged down in the clothes. For me, it's one big art project, just a canvas to show that fashion should have a brand which has someone behind it who cares about different contexts. Social things.
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I had a show that people thought used a laugh track. It wasn't; it was the real audience going crazy after everything that resembled a joke, that they could technically call a joke.
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I did many other things before I ever got into the movies. I've been in so many businesses, it's a joke. All of them totally unsuited to me. Selling used cars. Running a club in London.
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Happiness requires that we give up a worldly orientation-not worldly things, but a worldly attachment to things. We have to surrender all outcomes. We have to live here but appreciate the joke.
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Sex is God's joke on the human race ... if we didn't have sex to make us ridiculous, She would have had to think up something else instead.
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My teammates know I’m down to earth. I’ll joke with them. But when it comes to basketball, I try to be serious about it.
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Indiana's governor is coming under fire for a new law that some people feel is anti-gay. The governor now says he is not anti-gay. Then immediately afterwards he said, 'April Fools.' It wasn't his best joke.
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The joke used to be that in every Indian home, there is the mother, father, children, grandparents, and the anthropologist.
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Good shoes - they're the ultimate finishing touch. In fact, we actually joke in my family that your shoes have to be shined before you can leave the house.
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I start with the joke line and write backward.
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A joke a day keeps the gloom away!
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Modern Christians, especially those in the Western world, have generally been found wanting in the area of holiness of body. Gluttony and laziness, for example, were regarded by earlier Christians as sin. Today we may look on these as weaknesses of the will but certainly not sin. We even joke about our overeating and other indulgences instead of crying out to God in confession and repentance.
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You can't just explain a joke. Either it isn't funny, or the person just totally missed the punchline.
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Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.
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My friends joke that I love planning things - which I do - and the reason is because there's so much I want to do, so many things I want to see and experience. If I don't actively pursue these things, I will never do everything I want to do, in life and in my career. That's what gets me up in the morning.
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Power is nothing without a rock solid core. Pilates is the key to activating it...guys don't be fooled just 'cause women do it. It's no joke. Try it and you'll find out real quick.
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Some people will go for the quick joke and not pay attention to the consequences.
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It's almost a joke how good I am at charades. Not to pat my own back, but I'm literally - I'm kind of unstoppable.
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Hillary Clinton wouldn't have make a joke about wiping the server clean with a towel or now we find out about bashing old Blackberries to get rid of them or the fact that she had 13 Blackberries.
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By no means was I trying to offend anyone in their organization. It was just something funny for the guys to laugh at in the locker room. They're our rivals, and I apologize if I offended anyone, but it was just a little joke.
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Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.
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My favorite people are the ones that can make any unfunny joke hilarious by just laughing.
