Joke Quotes
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The concept of democracy is a fucking joke. Rock’s supposed to shake things up and say, ‘Fuck that, this is shit, man! Let’s burn down the Houses of Parliament!’
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Strict seriousness was far more dangerous than any joke.
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Sex is God's joke on the human race ... if we didn't have sex to make us ridiculous, She would have had to think up something else instead.
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Sometimes a joke that doesn't work just needs a breath or a little word or the tiniest little change to be fixed.
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Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it ‘all the money’ but they changed it to alimony.
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I think a lot of people misinterpret what I'm doing because they think of it as just a joke or they think of it as disposable.
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When I was a little kid, I was chunky. My mother would always joke she would have to get me husky jeans for larger kids. My wife reminds me sometimes, if I overdo it with chocolate chip cookies, that I will have to wear husky pants again.
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The joke used to be that in every Indian home, there is the mother, father, children, grandparents, and the anthropologist.
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Happiness requires that we give up a worldly orientation-not worldly things, but a worldly attachment to things. We have to surrender all outcomes. We have to live here but appreciate the joke.
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I did many other things before I ever got into the movies. I've been in so many businesses, it's a joke. All of them totally unsuited to me. Selling used cars. Running a club in London.
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Indiana's governor is coming under fire for a new law that some people feel is anti-gay. The governor now says he is not anti-gay. Then immediately afterwards he said, 'April Fools.' It wasn't his best joke.
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My friends joke that I love planning things - which I do - and the reason is because there's so much I want to do, so many things I want to see and experience. If I don't actively pursue these things, I will never do everything I want to do, in life and in my career. That's what gets me up in the morning.
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Some subjects are so serious that one can only joke about them.
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Good shoes - they're the ultimate finishing touch. In fact, we actually joke in my family that your shoes have to be shined before you can leave the house.
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Hillary Clinton wouldn't have make a joke about wiping the server clean with a towel or now we find out about bashing old Blackberries to get rid of them or the fact that she had 13 Blackberries.
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You can't just explain a joke. Either it isn't funny, or the person just totally missed the punchline.
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Modern Christians, especially those in the Western world, have generally been found wanting in the area of holiness of body. Gluttony and laziness, for example, were regarded by earlier Christians as sin. Today we may look on these as weaknesses of the will but certainly not sin. We even joke about our overeating and other indulgences instead of crying out to God in confession and repentance.
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I start with the joke line and write backward.
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Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.
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A joke a day keeps the gloom away!
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By no means was I trying to offend anyone in their organization. It was just something funny for the guys to laugh at in the locker room. They're our rivals, and I apologize if I offended anyone, but it was just a little joke.
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I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.
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Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke.
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My favorite people are the ones that can make any unfunny joke hilarious by just laughing.
