Joke Quotes
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My family and I have a little joke that if I'm feeling particularly blue, and nobody cares about me, I should just go to the airport! That is where I am most recognized.
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I joke that my niche in Hollywood has been naked foreigners.
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The joke is mightier than the sword.
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The gods too are fond of a joke.
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New York was at the forefront of rap, so because of all the great people who have gone before me, being a rapper from Queens, I have to live up to those standards. I'm basically just a regular guy who says what he feels and likes to joke. I like long walks on the beach... and I love rap.
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I have a lot of glass in my house, and I remember saying as a joke once that I clean my stuff with Windex while my friends are over, but then I found myself actually doing that the other day. It's horrible.
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Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive no harm, unless thou art raw.
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The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.
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I think Amy Poehler and Tina Fey have done so much for women in comedy in the sense that they've normalized it. You don't think, 'I'm going to watch that comedy starring a woman,' you think, 'I'm going to watch that funny show.' They refuse to play the foils for men, or be reduced to the butt of every joke, and I love that about both of them.
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Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.
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I'm not the type of person who thinks up a joke and has to tell everyone.
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Running for me is a sport. It's not a joke. It's serious.
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The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
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But if they didn't think it was a joke, or if anybody took it the wrong way other than a joke, when you make a mistake like that, you've got to apologize. So I apologize to anybody that might have taken it the other way.
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...the Gods too love a joke.
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The one thing I think I've noticed about shows that are supposed to be funny on television is that they've sort of become routinized, so there's an awful lot of mannerisms and joke lines that are sort of there to trigger laughter, rather than give actors a chance to play a moment.
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He is using this as a joke. This is an insult coming from him. Why he chose to focus on the Black Caucus, I have no idea other than he is crazy and a racist.
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I came from the Groundlings Theatre in L.A., and there, you're guaranteed to at least try something out in front of an audience. At 'SNL,' only the best stuff gets picked, and it's taught me a very defined language of comedy. You learn the structure of a joke, which is not something I was very good at beforehand.
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Few years ago Donald Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about. Donald Trump's rule at that time, the only thing that you couldn't joke about was a suggestion that he has less money that he claimed to.
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It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
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There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage.
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The most welcome joke to me is the one that takes the place of a heavy, not altogether innocuous thought, at once a cautionary hint of the finger and a flash of the eye.
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It's when I make a joke about Indian people and then a white person comes up to me and says, "That's wrong. You should not talk about Indian people," and the Indian people are over in the audience like, "I thought that joke was hilarious." That is so weird. Then why are you getting mad? You're burning unnecessary calories. You're getting made for the sake of getting mad. I don't understand it.
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The U.S. Army is the biggest joke the world has to laugh at. It is the army of liars, backstabbers, fools, and bullies. The few good sergeants are getting out as soon as they can, and they are telling us privates to do the same.
