Joke Quotes
-
Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through their skins.
-
What I would do in order to be popular was, I'd put myself on line and joke around and be funny, and I was always known as the crazy kid.
-
Someone once told me a joke," he said. "I'd like to be a pacifist, but people keep getting in the way.' I made a decision to fight for my friend in prison. It was a deliberate decision. It isn't the only way-it's just something I decided.
-
In a theatre it happened that a fire started off stage. The clown came out to tell the audience. They thought it was a joke and applauded. He told them again, and they became still more hilarious. This is the way, I suppose, that the world will be destroyed-amid the universal hilarity of wits and wags who think it is all a joke.
-
I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke.
-
I lived that life for real, so to talk about it was like a joke, you know what I mean?
-
Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he's told a million times in a row in the past year, on the road, and making it look like he's pulling it out of thin air.
-
A true Englishman doesn't joke when he is talking about so serious a thing as a wager.
-
There's a running joke among fans that Jack never goes to the bathroom. We had a scene where I was running towards a sign pointing ?BATHROOM' to the left and ?OFFICES' to the right. I did a double-take and ran towards the bathroom! We sent it in to the network, as a joke reel. But, quite frankly, nobody wants to see Jack Bauer go to the bathroom.
-
The thing that's weird is that we thought it was funny. We expected people to get the joke - that we with Andrew Ridgeley were two guys really making asses of ourselves.
-
They have been a joke with regards to the selection. I didn't say that earlier because I thought I'd get sent to Alaska and they don't have a regional there.
-
The concept of democracy is a fucking joke. Rock’s supposed to shake things up and say, ‘Fuck that, this is shit, man! Let’s burn down the Houses of Parliament!’
-
Quite frankly I think the press took it out of context. They … blew it out of proportion. It was just a joke. I didn't mean it in the way it was meant to be ... I apologize for it.
-
Whether people grow fat by joking, or whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never been quite able to determine.
-
I don't get the animosity when someone tells a joke that you don't like. Whereas if someone made a dish that you don't like if you went to a restaurant, you would either try another dish or you just don't go back to that restaurant. But you don't say like, "I did not like the hamburger here. This restaurant should be shut down. It should be banned from making hamburgers. No one else should have these hamburgers." And everyone else is like, "No, you wouldn't do that."
-
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
-
I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
-
The wisest and the best of men, nay, the wisest and best of their actions, may be rendered ridiculous by a person whose first object in life is a joke.
-
An Englishman does not joke about such an important matter as a bet.
-
At bottom the world isn't a joke. We only joke about it to avoid an issue with someone, to let someone know that we know he's there with his questions; to disarm him by seeming to have heard and done justice to his side of the standing argument.
-
I've always been jealous of people who can tell stories really well in a room with a bunch of people. I've never been good at it because I'm not cocky enough to be like, "Okay, everyone, listen right now to this. I'm going to blow your minds with this joke."
-
Similarly the animal psychologist, Aristophanes, accidentally discovered the world's first joke while inquiring into the hitherto mysterious motivations of pathway-traversing fowl.
-
Seriousness is an accident of time. It consists of putting too high a value on time. In eternity there is no time. Eternity is a moment, just long enough for a joke.
-
Rapping was a joke, but the music helped me break out of my shell.
