Joke Quotes
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I'm not original, but I strive toward it as much as possible. I tried really hard on Weekend Update to do something that I considered original, which was, I tried to cut all cleverness out of the joke.
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Desegregation is a joke.
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I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
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They have been a joke with regards to the selection. I didn't say that earlier because I thought I'd get sent to Alaska and they don't have a regional there.
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And what exactly is a dream and what exactly is a joke.
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What I would do in order to be popular was, I'd put myself on line and joke around and be funny, and I was always known as the crazy kid.
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Whether people grow fat by joking, or whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never been quite able to determine.
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In a theatre it happened that a fire started off stage. The clown came out to tell the audience. They thought it was a joke and applauded. He told them again, and they became still more hilarious. This is the way, I suppose, that the world will be destroyed-amid the universal hilarity of wits and wags who think it is all a joke.
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Contrary to reports, this boy is not a billionaire or going to be richer than any Beatle - and not just in the sense of money, by the way. The Beatles are untouchable. That’s just a joke.
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Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he's told a million times in a row in the past year, on the road, and making it look like he's pulling it out of thin air.
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I like the idea of building the suspense and taking it all the way up to the very last second with the suspense, and right when you think you can't take it anymore, then you come in with the joke and kind of break the tension. To me, that's the best kind of film. I like thrillers, so thrillers with comedy, to me, is always the best.
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I like to joke with my wife that she's the CEO of... certainly of our household.
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I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke.
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Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through their skins.
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There's a running joke among fans that Jack never goes to the bathroom. We had a scene where I was running towards a sign pointing ?BATHROOM' to the left and ?OFFICES' to the right. I did a double-take and ran towards the bathroom! We sent it in to the network, as a joke reel. But, quite frankly, nobody wants to see Jack Bauer go to the bathroom.
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Multiculturalism is a white people joke.
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A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
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There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made funny. It's just that they don't fit my particular skill set.
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I don't get the animosity when someone tells a joke that you don't like. Whereas if someone made a dish that you don't like if you went to a restaurant, you would either try another dish or you just don't go back to that restaurant. But you don't say like, "I did not like the hamburger here. This restaurant should be shut down. It should be banned from making hamburgers. No one else should have these hamburgers." And everyone else is like, "No, you wouldn't do that."
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Any time you can be with like-minded people, laughing or crying over the same joke or the same scene... For me it's therapeutic. You just feel a little less alone on the planet.
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In Beijing, the joke among hacks is that, after the drive in from the airport, you are ready to write a column; after a month, you feel the stirrings of an idea-book; but after a year, you struggle to write anything at all, because you've finally discovered just how much you don't know.
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Just because something makes you smile or laugh ... doesn't mean it's a joke.
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Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.
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Quite frankly I think the press took it out of context. They … blew it out of proportion. It was just a joke. I didn't mean it in the way it was meant to be ... I apologize for it.
