Funny Quotes
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Try to find someone with a sense of humor. That's an important thing to have because when you get into an argument, one of the best ways to diffuse it is to be funny. You don't want to hide away from a point, because some points are serious, but you'd rather have a discussion that was a discussion, rather than an argument.
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Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.
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Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.
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Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
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My first draft of Marvel Knights 'Black Panther' was not funny at all. They smartly rejected the entire script and counseled me to inject liberal doses of humor into very serious subject matter.
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Who doesn't love a funny girl who can look sexy at the same time?
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If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
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I was scrolling through my Twitter feed one day, and somebody had tweeted me a picture of Justin Bieber that had been Photoshopped with makeup or something. And I thought it was funny and so I hit retweet - I just retweeted a tweet - and all of a sudden, the remarks were coming in.
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I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18 months, how bad could that be?
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It was Toto that made Dorothy laugh, and saved her from growing as gray as her other surroundings. Toto was not gray; he was a little black dog, with long silky hair and small black eyes that twinkled merrily on either side of his funny, wee nose.
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If you just stop and think, baby, honey, love is a funny thing. Whatever you put in, that's what you expect to gain.
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As a teenager, I began to question the Great Christian Sorting System. My gay friends in high school were kind and funny and loved me, so I suspected that my church had placed them in the wrong category... Injustices in the world needed to be addressed and not ignored. Christians weren't good; people who fought for peace and justice were good. I had been lied to, and in my anger at being lied to about the containers, I left the church. But it turns out, I hadn't actually escaped the sorting system. I had just changed the labels.
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Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
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Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
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Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them.
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I never thought I'd live this long. It sounds funny because I still think of myself as a kid.
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The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
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If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possible and admit that you're the funniest person you ever met. You have to laugh. Admit that you're funny. Otherwise, you die in solemnity.
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I don't follow anything blindly. I have to know the entire thing, if I have to get in to it. It might sound funny to you, but it's like using English language. I use an English word only when I know its meaning and understand its connotation. You won't hear me say, 'What's up, dude' or anything like that just for the heck of it.
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Family is funny, and so it was not an unnatural thing for me, growing up, not to know anything about my dad or about the Vance side of our family.
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I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.
