Funny Quotes
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It's funny because when you do become successful, you're forced to look backwards and try to crawl back into the womb where you first started to create.
Jack White
The White Stripes
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Whoever has not experienced the pleasure of taking a young lady to her first game of ball should seize the first opportunity to do so. Her remarks about plays, her opinions of different players and the umpire, and the questions she will ask concerning the game, are all too funny to be missed.
John Montgomery Ward
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It is the American practice to present others as guilty wherever they are defeated. Is it not funny that those with 160,000 forces in Iraq accuse us of interference?'
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
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Relax, you're among friends now. The long hard day is over and the roly-poly funny man is before you.
Craig Ferguson
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I think religion is a funny thing because, when you see somebody who can really break it down, sometimes it feels foolish what you believe.
Kevin Costner
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Resolve was never stronger than in the morning, after the night, when it was never weaker
Mike Leigh
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Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so irritating.
Bill Gates
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I think maybe to survive, I mean to just get through the day - I'm not saying that everything is hilariously funny.
Roz Chast
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You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach...but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?"
Jim Gaffigan
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It's a grim business, this being funny. Every time you come up with a strong, satiric idea, the world tops it.
Del Close
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I try to sign for as many kids as possible. Kids come first, and I'll always sign for a kid before an adult. It's funny, because I was never big into autographs as a kid. The only player who I ever wanted an autograph from was Dave Winfield.
Derek Jeter
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Hemingway seems to be in a funny position. People nowadays can't identify with him closely as a member of their own generation, and he isn't yet historical.
Leslie Fiedler
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Like many people, I kicked around, struggled to become a writer, finally got my first full-time job around 27, 28, at 'The Hill' newspaper. They hired me as a copy editor, which was kind of funny because I'm semi-blind because I have an eye disorder.
David Grann
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Most people who meet my wife quickly conclude that she is remarkable. They are right about this. She is smart, funny and thoroughly charming... Often, after hearing her speak at some function or working with her on a project, people will approach me and say something to the effect of "You know, I think the world of you, Barack, but your wife... wow!"
Barack Obama
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So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work.
Joseph Bologna
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You find a personality whom you think the TV audience will embrace and find a format that is tailor-made for the personality. In the case of Andy Griffith, we moved the personality of a wily country shark - a funny and shrewd guy - into another arena. In this case, he is a lawyer, and it is a dramatic series.
Fred Silverman