Funny Quotes
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I hated meeting people at bars when I was single because it's all about the looks and the funny line.
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I want to be host of 'SNL.' I want to work with Steven Spielberg, Leonardo DiCaprio, J.J. Abrams, Emma Stone and Tim Burton, Sean Penn, Cameron Crowe. I want to work with Adam Sandler - he is so funny - and Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.
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I saw this sign posted once, it said, "Blasting Zone Ahead." Wow. Shouldn't that read: "Road Closed?" What do you mean there's a blasting zone? What am I supposed to do? "Hey-uh, you might wanna buckle up. Blasting zone coming up. Yeah. Just saw the sign. Put the helmets on back there! Yeah I think we're- (Pow!)- Oh! We're getting close! (Pow!)- Oh! This is gonna be a bad blasting zone! Remember that last one-we lost Billy?"
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I'll think of the idea and then I'll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny.
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Cannes is a circus, so you have to have fun with it. Everything suddenly becomes funny. And the promotion of a movie - that's where you really need to be a good actor. You need to make journalists believe that what you're saying is just for them and you've never said it before, even when you're talking about the same film over and over again.
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It is a funny view of the world that a book can cause riots.
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What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark - things that I like to do.
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Will Smith is just an all-around amazing talent and really funny.
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Roy Blount is so funny, and he sounds like he's just talking, and the next thing you know he has tossed off
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When I was in high school, I was a bad singer. I mean, all my early acting was musical theater, and my first ever show was 'Jesus Christ Superstar.' Everyone's familiar with it. I played priest number 3 and sang so out of tune that it's not even funny.
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It's a funny thing: my name in Arabic means hope, so I suppose I have to live by that principle. Hope is desire, feeling, and investing in a projection of something that doesn't yet exist. At its best, you witness its alchemy in your life, turning something that was once in the mind into reality. At its worst, it's delusion.
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After doing Johnny I wanted to just do something, I wouldn't say innocent, but to not have any care in the world. Lots of setups and horrible happenings but its funny.
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Well, I have one consolation. No candidate was ever elected ex-president by such a large majority!
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The simplest comment on my book came from my ballet teacher. She said, 'I wish you hadn’t made every line funny. It’s so depressing.'
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I can do comedy, so people want me to do that, but the other side of comedy is depression. Deep, deep depression is the flip side of comedy. Casting agents don't realize it but in order to be funny you have to have that other side.
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What does being a woman today mean? Is there a right way of doing it? Is there a wrong way of doing it? Different kinds of women, female friendships: It's all pretty funny, and worth making fun of.
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I think the whole concept that women aren't funny is dead. It's over; it's done.
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I don't think there has been any increase in sophistication in the audience. When people are aware of a concept that's easy to understand, and there's an actor who will attract them to the theater and it's a movie that's funny three-quarters of the time, it will be successful.
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On my Youtube page there are so many haters. They just say crazy stuff. Like, I'm not mad. I'm 16 years old and I don't have chest hair and I'm not angry about it at the moment. That will come. People are like, 'Look at him he puts helium in his voice before he sings.' You just have to laugh at yourself. It's funny.
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I will say it is funny that writing a song about not wanting to entertain people is what got me a career in entertainment.
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The funny thing about me is I'm kind of schizophrenic, because after four or five nights in a row of going out to parties, I just have to be alone. I hate people and feel like they're keeping me from what I really want to do, like write a fabulous novel, which I probably never will.
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In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
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I think I always was a bit of a class clown, but I don't know how successful I was at that. I always think, when I read about people being class clowns, I imagine them being actually very funny, and I don't know that I was. But I tried to be, I think.
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I have close to 300 pairs of shoes. I'm fortunate enough to be in a position to get any shoes I want. So I have a pretty nice collection. It's pretty valuable. It's funny when sometimes I buy a pair of shoes and I look on eBay and it's already selling for $500. I just wanted to buy those shoes to wear them!
