Funny Quotes
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Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh.
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To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again.
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Jon Stewart hires people that he thinks are funny. That's it. That's the only requirement.
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I like to play music, and I like to be funny, so I just do both at the same time.
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Comedy clubs can be brutal. Those people are for real, and if you aren't funny, they aren't laughing. They don't care who you are.
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It's funny, but when there are dominant teams, there are a number of people who rail about the fact that they're always seeing the Dallas Cowboys or the San Francisco 49ers or the Green Bay either in the playoffs or in the Super Bowl.
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It's really funny - when I'm depressed or I'm having a hard time, I'll write really fun stuff. And then when I'm really happy, I write really depressing stuff.
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I'm a big fan of certain new acts. I love any genre of music, and I think it's really great to see that there are new artists coming through. It's kinda funny to think that I'm like the old man on campus now. But I'm really happy for groups like One Direction. I think they're really good guys.
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With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than their knowledge of how to tell a joke is their knowledge of themselves, or the persona they've created as themselves. So that when you're in a room with writers, you can say, 'Guys, that's a funny line, but I wouldn't say it.'
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Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
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I love nothing better than a dirty cartoon. I think that it's really, really funny to see adult themes in a genre that's usually directed towards children.
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I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.
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Eddie Drake is sort of this loose cannon, funny, edgy guy, who has this really foolish, foolish mustache.
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But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.
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It's funny because ever since 'American Idol,' people look at me without makeup and think I'm 15 years old - they think I'm really young and quiet and shy, and that I've never been in a relationship and have never been in love or anything.
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The funny thing about 'The Naked Brothers Band' movie was that we tricked the audience into thinking that we were actually rock stars.
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'Mrs Funnybones' is based and structured around my columns, and it's about how a modern woman looks at India and how India looks right back at her. Since I have a weakness for illustrations, there are also a few funny illustrations in there as well.
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A dugout is much superior to a conventional manufactured canoe because you can get soaking wet without bothering to capsize it.
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I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.
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Listen, this is crazy. I look like I'm 75 years old. Nobody wants to watch an old man being funny. That's just a fact. No one wants to see this old man on TV.
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You are so funny to ask me about 'The Look'. I've been asked many times, and I really am not sure what anyone means.
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DeShaies is like a clock out there. Every other pitch goes one way or the other.
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I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas 'are' funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier.
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People used to be funny about approaching me, but now they seem to think I'm as sane as anyone who's done what I've done in movies can be.
